I Will Always Love My Ex

*****For those who have gone through heart break*****

    This isn’t the I’ll never let go of my ex love. No, this is sacrificial love. Giving up my desires good or bad for his well being.

    “I will always love my ex” some of you are probably are thinking
Mihaela has officially gone off the deep end.

    Yes, we broke up, yes, it was an unhealthy relationship (The Scariest Road, TheTestimony Guitar) and yes, I had to refind my identity in Christ again.
Through being restored in Christ I have learned how to love him in the best way. Letting him go was the best thing I could do for both of us. I was pulling him away from Christ due to the poison aloud in the relationship.

    As God was forming my heart and still is, many of my writings were formed over the Summer. I was also staying in contact with a friend who had recently gone through a similar situation, through it we would keep each other posted on the new things God was teaching us and how he was working on restoring our hearts.

Friend :Are you doing ok, still working on healing?

Me: oh yeah! man I’ve gotten really funny since ****** like I’ve been quick and witty and I keep singing all the time. My healing process has been slow as it should be but i have become more confident in where my identity is now that I am putting in Christ

(Her Identity)

I would be remembering a lived nightmare every time I woke up in the
morning for months on end. I had to grieve.

Friend: Do you…have a hard time letting parts of your relationship go?
Do you still struggle with hurt, anger, guilt?
Does it occupy your mind way more than you thought it would?

Me: I know that ******will always be apart of me but he doesn’t consume my mind anymore.
He did a lot for a while. after the past few months id do good then be haunted again. but hitting
my 6months and looking back God has gotten me soooooo incredibly far. That still doesn’t mean
the hauntings will just disappear no! But now I can say shoot I’m not that girl anymore.
She is dead and alive in Christ. You see 6 months and 2 days ago i decided to come back to the heart of worship.
breaking my own heart because I realized I was breaking Gods.

My heart started to feel victory in Christ remembering that I do not have to
let memories anchor my daily life and my future. Memories are a thing
in the past.

Me: I feel strong when I’m around him. Like he cant hurt me because i wont let him. God has definitely dried this girls tears from him, and I’m sure there are more to come. But I know God will dry those up too. I’m not dating for a while. I don’t want to just take a guy cuz hes there so I’m giving myself time. Plus God and I are on a role! I’ve been praying a lot more, diving into ministry, and staying in the word.

    Readers I share this because I know what its like to live in sin (scariest road) and not want to face the ugly girl in the mirror. I know what it’s like to know Gods grace is not deserved.

    “Maybe you cant forgive yourself but he cross is enough.” – friend

    God had forgiven me. I had to learn to forgive my ex.

Romans 6:11 “In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”

    God loves me. I had to love my ex.

John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

    Through prayer, staying in the word God will wipe away
our grieving tears into tears of joy.

    Nothing is too big for God. He is holding you.




27 thoughts on “I Will Always Love My Ex

  1. You are so right, we are commanded to love EVERYone! Even those who have hurt us in romantic relationships. And even when those relationships were unhealthy. This is such a great post!


  2. I read a blog this week that said God reverses things. Toxic relationships are so hard, and yet God wants to make us pure and healthy. It is a process of letting God guide us, bringing on the mind of Christ, forgiving and continuing the unfolding process of being convicted, and repenting! Sometimes it’s a slow road..but so vital!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I thought I had moved on. I am happily married now, but I found that I would get so angry when I would see his name or talk about him. I realized that I had not asked God to help me forgive him. When I did, I saw how broken and miserable he is, how sad his life is, and that I shouldn’t be angry, I should be praying for him, he is completely lost, turned away from Christ. I still carry some hurts from how things ended, but mostly I see him still running in the same old circles, sad and empty. Hard to be angry with that. I was able to let go and forgive finally, after more than a decade.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You’re so right! I know many people that hang on to hurt from past relationships or allow themselves to be angry still. The problem is, God can’t really heal you and you can’t have much of a relationship with someone new until you’ve learned to walk in forgiveness (rightly called walking in love) with people from your past. Blessings to you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Amen sister. I’ve been there. As you already read God has restored my heart and can do the same for you as well.


  5. Everything in our past was there for a reason, whether they were hurtful things or not. God placed them there to make us who we are now. It’s hard to thank God for experiences that are too hurtful to even go back to, but you wouldn’t be writing about things you’ve learned and gathered from that experience if you hadn’t gone through it first! Great reminder.


  6. Relationships are tough. After being in too many bad ones, I don’t believe they’re worthwhile LOL I totally understand why the Bible says it’s “better to be alone”. The older I get, the more I appreciate that. Relationships are great if they add to your life but if they’re only causing pain- let go.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. These are always tough break ups, especially since there is so much mind work and emotional ties that has to be broken off. Emotions are really strong, also when they are tied up to someone in an unhealthy relationship. You might feel like a puppy dog who is stuck in a torn bush, it is going to hurt if you sit there and it is going to hurt if you try to get out of it. Many people choose the pain of remaining the same in fear of the pain of change. God always lets the situation get better when we go through the walk he has put out for us.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Such a heartfelt post. Sadly, when a marriage falls apart people are quick to anger and slow to forgiveness. Yet, I know that when I forgive someone I experience such a lightening of my heart. I haven’t gone through divorce, but can see that the few times when the couple was able to set aside a need for anger everyone involved was better off.


  9. God will “restore your years.” I haven’t walked your road, but I know it must be heartbreakingly difficult. What I love is you are helping others from a place of “I’ve been there.”


  10. Though we shouldn’t go back to unhealthy relationships, it’s okay to miss them. If you really loved someone, you can’t just turn that off.


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