When others see Peter give me a kiss or watch us talk things out when there is miscommunication they say things like:
“Have you even gotten in a real fight?”
“You know you’re only in the ‘honeymoon’ season”.
What they don’t understand is how adjusting to married life has been hard for us. Even our dating season was hard. PTSD, setting family boundaries, change of becoming one-flesh, new ministry opportunities, and life circumstances are hard.
The Devil constantly fights to tear our marriage apart by throwing obstacles our way. Why? Because we love the Lord!
Going into our marriage we knew that life was only going to get harder. By pushing each other in prayer, Bible reading, in ministry projects, and in our personal walks with Christ together…the Kingdom will expand.
As the years go by I only hope to love Peter more than on our wedding day. And I can! Staying in prayer and in fellowship with Christ makes that possible. Marriage is another testimony for the world to see. Some might think their walk with Christ is done and the other person can finish it because they are one-flesh. They are forgetting teamwork and are putting their identity in the other person. Marriage is one-flesh, but there are two people in it. Two people who both need Christ as much as the other. Honeymoon season doesn’t have to be just a season. It can become a way of life. If others see us trying to go through our marriage without Christ being our center then disaster will be all they see.
These past few months have been very hard, but as a couple we are growing stronger in Him every day. Sometimes I feel like we go one step forward and twenty steps back. When I get caught up in the twenty steps back I forget that those twenty steps back might actually be us moving forward. It might just not feel that way.
If you were encouraged by this feel free to share.
Marriage is not an easy endeavor. But the rewards are immense. I know this, and have lived it for 31+ years.
How God will use the two of you – as husband and wife – will be a constant wonder and joy for yourselves, and all those around you. By your faithfulness to each other, you will be a blessing. Hold fast; hold fast to Christ, and then to each other. (but I believe you two already understand – I just wanted to provide a little encouragement! ) 🙂
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Thank you for your encouragement!
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I, too, believe the honeymoon season can be more than a season. After 14+ years of marriage, I also agree that the devil does indeed try to tear you apart, and he will devise new strategies as you grow. I have lately been going through a difficult time, and it has certainly affected my marriage. We are still strong, but only because Jesus is holding our hands and helping us forward and out of the fire every single day. And I thank him for it, because I could easily fall into pits of vanity and selfishness without his love.
May God bless you and your husband. Congratulations from one Christian sister to another! Your marriage will be a great testimony for Christ, I have no doubt.
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Marriage is never easy and people only see what we allow them to see in public. I totally agree with your statement: “The Devil constantly fights to tear our marriage apart by throwing obstacles our way. Why? Because we love the Lord!” I’ve experienced it and we’ve teetered on the brink of divorce the last few years. Thankfully, we’ve sought outside help from a Christian organization for marriages and are now more united than we have been the last few years.
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Thank you and thank you for sharing a piece of your testimony as well. It’s amazing what seems impossible to us God makes possible when we let Him become our center and not ourselves.
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I never cease to be thankful that while life brings hard things, our marriage has never been hard–for us, our marriage is one of the things that helps us get through the other hard stuff, and I know what a blessing that is! Although, yes, we’ve had ‘real fights’ a couple times in the last 5 years…
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I agree the hard times do strengthen our marriage. It’s been crazy from the start and hasn’t stopped.
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We too have had a marriage that has not been easy from the get-go. But it’s been more about external stressors than internal turmoil. I don’t think fights are required in a relationship. I’ve been married for about 2 1/2 years, known my husband for about 3 1/2 and we’ve never had a fight. Sure, we’ve had disagreements, but we have never gone to bed angry with one another.
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Exactly theres no need for fighting when there are so many other stressful things to deal with.
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Marriage is not an easy relationship, but like most things That are “hard” they are worth it. The honeymoon may be over, but the best is yet to come.
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Exactly. The feeling of the honey moon season doesn’t ever have to end.
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[…] https://hylaandpeterechols.com/2015/11/10/is-it-just-a-honeymoon-season/ […]
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Marriage is not easy. It’s a lot of work and sometimes even harder when you’ve been married for a long time, but the rewards are so wonderful. We celebrate 47 years this year. Did I just say that? I am more in love with him today than the day we married.
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Wow congrats 47 years!
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Our feelings can lie to us about the Truth of God’s work, we have to remind ourselves that while He always wants to hear our feelings, we need to look to Him for more than just a place to unload our hurt and pain – do the unloading but move into thankfulness and praise. Good to hear about a married couple that is helping each other to move towards Christ because as long as we are on this earth we can move more and more towards Him.
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God uses every step– both those backward and forward.:)
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We have only been married for about 9 years now but having three kids in the past five years has been an eye opener for us. We know our kids are watching us so we are very conscious to show affection to one another in front of them. Real acts of affection and flirting. It’s little things that help us connect every day even when we are too tired! 🙂
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So true!
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After 4 years of marriage, I can say…it is hard! The first year was the hardest for us, but the Lord has been faithful and you are right-the devil tries to tear down marriages who are seeking the Lord. Stay faithful, friend and thank you for sharing!!
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Thank you! I’ve written about things on our first year of marriage as well. Like you said God is bigger.
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I can so relate! Nobody really knows the battle being waged in our hearts even though we are still in love.
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It makes me want to roll my eyes when people are so cynical… why can’t they say, “it makes us happy to see you so happy! We pray God will be with you through the tough times too.” I appreciated your perspective though! It’s so true how God can use marriage SO powerfully in our lives. 🙂
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It’s certainly interesting to move through all the different stages of marriage – they each have their difficult parts, as well as their joys! So glad you joined us at #FridayFrivolity this week!
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Thank you
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What a fun picture with the birds, and amen to an ongoing honeymoon season. There is no doubt that marriage changes and time goes on, but that doesn’t mean the joy, outrageous fun, and delight needs to end. Wishing you both the best in your current season together!
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Thank you! And for the birds mine kept trying to eat my hair. It was so hard to smile hahah
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We never know the behind the scenes of other people’s lives but I think it is wonderful that, even with hard times, you and your husband love each other so intensely that it is evident to those around you. 🙂
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[…] Like I have mentioned in a few other writings before our first year was not a honeymoon it was a spiritual battle of thorns. Through and through we know that God is bigger and he has […]
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Amen! My husband and I have been together for over ten years and the comments have switched from people telling us that the honeymoon period will end to saying we are such an encouraging and cute couple. You can absolutely stay in love with your spouse and learn to love him more as the years go by. It sounds like you are on the right track. Keep loving him and Jesus and you will be set for life (even if there are fights and even when it’s hard).
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This is such a beautiful post. I am currently single, but it’s nice to know that one day I may find a love that stays in the “Honeymoon Season” for longer than a year!
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Great inspiring article 🙂 I am not dating or married nor do I plan on be anytime soon, but its nice too see that people can last in the Honeymoon phase for a while.
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I am still madly in love with my honey. He is my best friend. We don’t figure or argue. A strong foundation is key. When people make comments about the honeymoon phase – I always joke that yes, I get to fall in love with him everyday….who wouldn’t want that!
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You are a wise woman. Marriage is all about choices. Jon and I have been married 40 years. He still makes my heart do that twitterpated thing. But we’ve worked hard on this love of ours. And it’s worth it! Saying a prayer for continued blessings on your marriage!
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It frustrates me when people make comments like “oh have you ever had a real fight?” etc. I believe relationships can always be in a “honeymoon” style period. Whether it is getting married, having your first child, buying your first house.. these are always new and exciting periods of your life.
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A life with God is like living in paradise. No problem or situation can break or tear you apart. Just give it all to Him, have faith and miracle will follow.
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I love your honesty. Couples who say they never fight are delusional or lying:) How you handle strife or even just different opinions is what a successful marriage is all about. We are currently re-reading the book “Love and Respect”, a mind-blowing book on how to understand your spouse through Christ. It sounds like you two have been working on that, so great job!
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Such wise words from you. I wish you and Peter the best!
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Its so lovely to read that you and Peter are going strong and continuing to make it through hardships! Very inspiring!
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Thank you!!!!
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I do accept that marriage is not an easy stuff to handle, but in life everything has both positives & negatives! It is almost 10-years since we got married, but yet the feeling of honeymoon season has never come to an end!
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Thats awesome!
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[…] Only God fully understands the aches of our hearts, how I longed to be with Peter and how to meet me where I was at. Peter is home now and we are so thankful how God has grown our marriage through the unexpected adventure we went through. […]
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