Personal / Write your heart out

Could I Get A little Privacy?

Mihaela Echols42 Comments

    I believe there is a privacy that many have forgotten and have used social media or  conversations as a personal journal. Boundaries are crossed that many don’t even know they have crossed. Then every party involved leave at what a could of been an encouraging time, but instead had a gossip session.

    I used to feel guilty for listening to someone “vent” on their marriage issues, financial issues or way to personal issues that I never should of never known about in the first place. I felt like if I didn’t listen to them I wasn’t being a good friend, but by listening to them  I wasn’t. It’s not my job to hear or know someone on a level where God knows them. That is where God needs to be and they are putting me there.

   God asks us to Guard our hearts through out scripture and we must do the same for them by watching what we share as well. 

    Don’t get me wrong I love keeping up with peoples lives and hearing if someone got a new pet, a new baby, or if they share their hobbies on facebook. But I honestly do cringe and scroll when too much media sharing is seen.  Sometimes I wish I could just scroll past in conversations with other women….

 I have learned I can! 

 I have approached my friends in saying “I’m learning about this new thing about myself. I listen to my friends vent thinking I should be a good friend but then leave feeling horrible because too much is shared.”  

The conversation we the have is clean, and encouraging. Both of our hearts are protected and God is glorified.

 

Read more here:

The Mouth Of This Lion

Dear Embarrasing Parents

Who Are You Glorifying?

 

 

 

 

42 thoughts on “Could I Get A little Privacy?”

  2. I think it also depends on what type of venting it is (on the friend’s part) and where your faith is at (as a listener). In James 5:16 it says that confessing our sins to each other can heal the person. Sure, venting is not the same as confessing, but I know many times with friends they are better able to hear God’s Word on the issue they’re struggling with after they’ve poured out their feelings. But again – it depends on where the listener is at emotionally and spiritually. I don’t mind listening to people vent because it doesn’t cause my faith to waver. I feel like I’m doing them a service, especially if I can follow it with love, and – if they’re open to it – spiritual guidance. I’ve been able to witness God change a person’s heart from anger and bitterness to repentance and reconciliation this way. It’s so beautiful.

    Anyway, that’s me. God has us all serve different roles as we make up the body of Christ. 🙂

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    • See and some of us think like you said they are helping but really just enjoy the gossip or playing God as if they can take others burdens. Your the rare case where you use it to encourage and pray for others. Which is awesome.

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    • I was thinking the same thing! It doesn’t bother me at all, I feel like I am helping in listening and able to offer compassion (and usually empathy because I’ve been through a lot myself!). But that’s also my role. I have a friend who is very sensitive and it hurts her to hear painful stories from her friends. I don’t ever burden her with my woes because she is so sensitive, I know it’s just not the right ear. But in all honesty, she is the sweetest person EVER. The perfect friend for a tea and refreshing the soul!

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  3. I have found it funny how much pepole share on social media behind a screen and keyboard. Yet, wouldn’t dare go it the middle of their street in their neighborhood and scream the same thing they just typed to thousands (hundreds of thousands) of people. I guess without that physical interactions boundaries and etiquette aren’t upheld.

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  4. I definitely agree with you that we must go to God first and protect those moments that should be private. There can be a time and place to share personal things, but that must be approached with wisdom and after much conversation first!

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  5. It’s good to have a reminder that we can skip past conversations that we may not need to be part of. Telling people what God is teaching us is a great way to change the direction a negative conversation might be going.

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  7. It is so true that with social media now, people are a little too free with their sharing of personal stuff. I see a lot of things on Facebook, etc. that make me cringe. I have been the “recipient” of some mean words by people who I’m sure would never say those things directly to my face. I really like your perspective here! We need to find a balance between using social media to share what’s on our hearts with friends to encourage them & seek encouragement, and seeking private moments with God where only He is invited in.

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  8. Michaela, you’ve touched on a very important issue and I agree that we have to be careful how much we share and with whom. Social media might not be the best place to get into a whole lof of detail about personal issues but I hope that persons feel welcomed to open up to trustworthy friends (even online ones). Sadly, many don’t have in real life relationships with whom they can share these things and social media becomes an outlet to meet that need. We will all do well to be available and ready to build friendships on a deeper level without baring our souls to the entire social media world. I pray that God will help us to be wise in this area!
    Blessings to you.
    Marva | sunSPARKLEshine

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  9. I see it, too, and it makes me sad. Another think I notice is the speech which are low class words or either swearing or bumping the line. Sometimes I just scroll on by without reading their posts. I like that you are addressing this subject.

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  10. This is a great reminder for me… Lately I have been going through issues with family and friends and venting to my friends looking for advice… I think it’s fine confiding in one close friend and of course God.

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    • Yes I agree! close friends who will pray with you and not let us turn it into a gossip session and will give us godly advice in return.

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  11. I can see it from both sides. I have one super close friend and we share pretty much everything with each other. Some times it’s just nice to have someone to bounce thoughts off of and get advice. But I have seen so many posts on social media from people saying things that just floor me. Like posting the details of a fight with your spouse..that’s just inappropriate. I always take it as the person wanting people to side with them which is basically public humiliation for the other party and will end up causing so many problems for them in the long run.

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    • I agree if we have that friend who will listen, and encourage us to handle situations the way Christ will it is always great to go to them for advice. Yikes! thats some scary stuff you are seeing on media. : /

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  13. I totally agree that there should be some discretion to social media, as it is a public platform. Not everything is meant for online posting and we have to keep in mind that it’s all a representation of ourselves. I think the feelings you’ve had toward this are perfectly natural as I’ve cringed a few times myself!

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    • Yes. Finding that friend that will pray with you about situations you are going through is one thing but man isn’t is crazy when people expose themselves? I totally agree with not tearing down some one publicly.

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    • YIKES your the second person who has told me about couples who expose eachother on social media. Thats just crazy!!!

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  18. Yes, so much gossip can be spread in the name of “venting” or even prayer requests. I find when this starts happening, or a person starts veering off talking about someone else, i try to bring it back to them and how they can guard their heart on the topic. And even just ask if I can pray over the situation with them without hearing the details, since God already knows what they are.
    It’s important to help guard all hearts involved.

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    • you are so smart to encourage friends to not only guard their hearts but yours as well. Amen God knows the details we dont need to know others business.

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  19. I do also feel that people tend to go overboard on discussing their personal life on social media. It can be challenging reading about peoples’ personal lives because I feel like I should not know.

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  21. I’ve never worried what my friends have told me as I see it as an honour that they trust me with their personal stories. However I do agree on social media etc some people like to overshare and it can make others feel uncomfortable.

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  22. I would rather not share personal struggles on social media especially if it involves the people that I love. It’s always better to talk about it with the people who are actually involved.

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  23. I’ve always seen social media venting as a way to seek attention when you can’t anywhere else. I hate seeing friends on FB share all of their problems with the world or a gazillion drawings of scribbles and circles from their one year old lol.

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  25. You brought some twist to the info sharing issue my dear. I love it. I think it depends on their level of spiritual maturity. At times it helps them, ’cause now you know they really need some prayer or teaching. Some people are not yet mature to know how to handle sensitive business. Or they are just too frustrated, they don’t know what to do.

    Great point some areas are just for God. I noticed also that some of us love to be needed, so when someone over-share their problem, we listen, but then forget to point them to God. Since we are not always available, and able to solve problems.But God is always available, and well able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above what we can ask or imagine.

    Thanks for sharing Mihaela. I love your post.

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  26. I get what you’re saying. I think it’s why I have such a hard time with social media. I don’t think anyone really CARES about the daily musings of me and my family, rather it may just be a mindless scroll. And I too actually do have an interest with keeping up with people, it’s just that some people don’t know what’s appropriate anymore.

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