It does not surprise me when people ask what is the story behind each baby we get in our home. But it still irritates me when they ask. Knowing their stories isn’t going to benefit them in any way and it is not ours to share to begin with.
Conversations usually start like this:
Them: “Do you know anything about the child’s background?”
Us: “Yes we do and we keep it private. Knowing it helps us meet the child’s specific needs.”
Them: “Did the mom do drugs?”
Us: “We keep all our babies story private.”
Them: “What’s the story on mom and dad?”
Us: “We are not aloud to share that.”
The questions usually stop coming after that.
Every baby we get in our home has their own story and it is theirs to share not ours.
As an adoptee I can tell you not every adoptee is comfortable with sharing their story. It’s a matter that reaches people to the core. The only one who knows my story is my husband. Over time I have shared bits on this blog and with others only if I see it as an opportunity to share Christ. But it took me about twenty years to get to that place. I would be horrified if people talked about my story as if it was a gossip session.
Because it’s not!
The matter is so private and close to the heart that even after we adopt (the hope) we will keep the story between us and our children. We do not mind curiosity from others. We see it as an opportunity to share our journey and teach people about foster care and our mission, but not their personal story.