Me Monster

   Hyla Chamberlain

    When my eyes are off of myself others eyes turn to God. 

   Our flesh steals the testimony of God. It consumes our conversations and our thoughts. It is the monster inside us battling for more of us and less of Him.

Romans 7:14-25

    I see it in myself when my conversations are all about me and not of what God is doing in me. When I concern myself with who is reading my writings and I forget the motive behind writing them….

    When I get frustared when ministry is not going at my pace….

    The list goes on. 

    These past few days have been my selfish days of letting the “Me Monster” win. I have been stressed and frustrated at letting the little silly things build up inside.

But, today I am reading this: 

Galatians 5:1
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves
be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

       I’ll say it again, when my eyes are off of myself others eyes turn to God.

Believers have a testimony that our flesh wants to silence. But the verse above tells us we don’t have to live by the flesh anymore because we have Christ living in us, working in us, and transforming us everyday.

Here we are in this moment with our choice before us:

Our flesh or Christ?

I Am Overwhelmed

    I begin to tear up as I look through pictures and prayer journals packing for my next move. Memories dance.

Who am I, oh Lord, that you have brought me so far?

    Whether I choose to follow Christ or not my life is a miracle. (The Hardest Story to Tell) I don’t know the hurt girl in these journal entries. She is a stranger. 

   Meeting me a few years back and meeting me now I only hope people see a change of heart. A woman who’s lifestyle is a walking testimony.

Who am I, oh Lord, that you have brought me so far? 

    I am overwhelmed by Gods grace and how he has restored my heart again and again–how he chooses us again and again. How he fought for our very souls. How we are worth something to him.

Who am I, oh Lord, that you are bringing me so far? 

I feel like David in this prayer. I am so overwhelmed by the Lord’s love.

Psalm 8:3-4

“When I consider your heavens,
    the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
    which you have set in place,
 what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?”

  God loved us before we came to be. He chose us then, on the cross and is choosing us now.  I am overwhelmed. Despite where I am from, what I have done, the thoughts I’ve thought, the horrible things I have wanted to do, he still wants me. As I allow God to work in my heart, he patiently breaks it, molds it, then breaks it again making me more like him. This is our life long journey he wants to take with us. 

Who am I oh Lord that you are bringing me so far?

Although the constant battles of my flesh hide within my heart; I remember he broke my chains when I chose him. I don’t have to be the old girl of past. She is a stranger. She is dead. She is forgiven. She is redeemed. She is made new. 

Who am I oh Lord that you have brought me so far?

Written July 3rd, 2015

Her Identity



Life Verse

– -pic credit unknown

It hits home for me every time. 

John 14:18 “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”  

The context of this verse is Jesus promising us the Holy Spirit. Jesus is with us in spirit if we accept him as our savior.

I was once abandoned and rejected by the world but now am adored, fought for and accepted by Christ. I am overwhelmed by his love. 

I (Christ) will not (doesn’t even want to) leave you (give up, move to another) as orphans (stray, motherless, fatherless) I (Christ) will (must, always will) come to you.  Who? Yes, you- me- everyone.

Readers, I know this a a short writing but dont miss the meaning inside this verse.

He’s not going anywhere! 

What Bible verse hits home for you?

My Retreat


2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us
an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal.”

“Malawi…Peter is in Malawi” I answer when everyone asks where he is.

    He is gone for a month.

    The first night away from him I was in a daze. I looked around. No one was there. Amen. No honestly Amen. It doesn’t sound like I miss him, but I do. There are countless times in a day I want to hear his voice or even watch my phone buzz knowing it’s him on the other line. 

    But he is not my everything. God is. 

    This is where God has us right now in our engagement and we are both happy because this month away is only going to make us stronger as a couple. Readers do not miss this part. I am not talking about our distance and lack of communication. I am talking about what we are doing in our month away. He is in Malawi serving missionaries, welding, and serving  the people living there. I am on a retreat! This is our separate season and we are taking advantage of it by serving Christ. I am overwhelmed by how far God is bringing us as a couple and as individuals.  I don’t know the girl I was a year ago. She is a stranger. 

    This retreat has been awakening to what God is doing in my heart. I have been able to catch up with old friends and get started on more ministry projects, and dive into the word. He is preparing me to become a partner, a companion,  a mother, and missionary with Peter. Some areas need more work than others but pardon my progress. When Peter comes back he will be different as well. Both of us stronger in Christ than we were when we said good by for a month.



Just One Drink

    I was twenty-one when I started and twenty-one when I quit. I started out of curiosity and ended once I let the guilt sink in deeper than the drink itself. Unfortunately it took me a few shots and drinks in my life to quit.  Every time I would test taste the thought of my siblings lives who have suffered from it would dance in my head. There is a reason why so many children are in foster care, why people have broken pasts, and why Fetal Alcohol Syndrome exists. Four out of eleven of my siblings suffer from Fetal Alcohol because their birth mom’s said “just one drink” once upon a time.

    Lives are taken because of just one drink. Hearts are scarred because someone wanted to have just one. This is why I flee. Just one turns into “what happened last night?” Readers hear the heart of the broken people around you if your wanting to shut me out. I was twenty-one when I started and twenty-one when I quit for the broken children.

All The Single Ladies Put Your Praise Hands Up!


Tick Tock, time is ticking.

    I was  inspired to write this when I was told the clock is ticking for me to find a husband. Here’s my response;  you are most certainly right! The clock is ticking and that is why I am so big on evangelism. You see Christ is having me be single now and I am embracing this season. Why? Because here and now I can be most effective for Him. Here and now I am on my own adventure with Christ and am eager to see what He has in store for me. Too many people sit and wait for someone great to come around to start living. My question to them is: why would I wait for something great when that something great has already come? My prince charming is here and is blazing fire in my soul.

                                                      1 Corinthians 7:25-38

    Paul states it is better to be single, because there is more room for evangelism, but it is not wrong to marry because that too honors God. 

     Single ladies, there is nothing wrong with singing the song “Some Day My Prince Will Come”, believing that there is an amazing man of God out there for you, or having a desire to be rescued. But we are always let down when we live for a prince who may never come, putting ourselves in situations where we may need to be rescued, because we are placing our identity in the world.

    Single ladies, it’s time we put our praise hands up! Embrace all the seasons. Even if singleness feels like winter when we have no one to cuddle with. We can come to Him. He knows our desires and our hearts.

Prince charming fought the good fight for our very souls.

                                                              Psalm 37:4

    I do have a desire to marry and serve God in our marriage, but maybe God has something different for me. To some of you this sounds like a nightmare. The hard questions might be being asked like: God would allow that? and doesn’t the verse above just say God will give me the desires of my heart? Yes, yes,  He will. God desires us to desire Him.

                                               Philippians 3:10-Knowing God

                                                Mark 15:17-His crown for us. 

    Single ladies, are you hearing what I am saying? Prince charming fought the good fight for our very souls. He slayed the dragon and wants to take us to his castle , tell us we are His captivating princess’s warriors.  How is this not enough?

                                                  John 14:1-7-our castle

                                           Ephesians 5:12-Princess warriors

                                              1 Peter 1:8-9-He is our joy

***Notice I did not put down the whole verses. We’re single. We have time to look them up***


The Hardest Story To Tell: Mine

the “food” was always mashed up. There were about four of us to a crib.

    The helpless crying baby would cry for the love she needed, but no one would come. She’d cry and hope, cry and hope, cry and hope until there were no more tears to shed.

Left alone.


    But something inside her told her to keep hoping and keep crying, someone
will hear you. Years she cried and hoped for her life. The hope never died. When the special some ones finally came her crying then, turned into screaming. She wanted so badly to love them back, but how could she if she never knew what love was. Hatred toward people burned in the little girls heart. What happened in her first three years marked her heart in way only God could change. The love her parents showed her was so foreign and yet so addicting. As she grew older fear of losing them grew more each day. She was falling in love. Then they told her about who Love is, how He brought her to them, how he died for her sins and how He loves her. She believed and loves Him back. That day she accepted Christ to be the boss of her life.
The little girl is me.

    I’m alive and shouldn’t be at least that’s what the world says.
It would’ve made the most sense, that is why they call me a survivor.
My first three years of abandonment are only explained by a miracle. What
you just read was only a glimpse of what I went through. As I mentioned I hated people and was locked out from reality. I felt like the world was moving around me waiting to be touched and I was in glass. The only emotion I felt for years was fear. Fear of being hit again, left again, and unwanted. But when I asked Christ to be the boss of my life I became alive. I would “run” the best I could with my hurt little legs, sing, love, and be fearless because He is living me in. There were times I have forgotten my first love, Christ (The Scariest Road), but like in the orphanage He hears my cry and calls me His.

    Romans 8:15 “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

Babies were placed on bread trays stacked on racks.
Babies were placed on bread trays and stacked on racks.
Nicolae Ceausescu, the man who started the orphanages.
Nicolae Ceausescu, the man who started the orphanages.
we would rock ourselves for self soothing, and look at our hands because it was the only thing to look at.
we would rock ourselves for self soothing, and look at our hands because it was the only thing to look at.

    Some ask how  could I believe in God after what I went through. My answer is this. I believe there’s a hell. I’ve only tasted it in just three years. Mean people are the result of sin and so badly the Devil wants to rob me from the truth of knowing God and who He is and how He loves us. The Devil thrives off of abuse and will do anything to pull us away from God. Why? Because God is love, joy and enough.

Just An Idea


        It didn’t come from and audible calling from God, or in a dream it was simply an idea. Last fall of 2013 my church, West Sound Community Church was brainstorming ways to reach out to the community. My church in Minnesota would do gift bags for people in jail every year for Christmas and I thought “Why not West Sound?” I ended up getting the number of the lieutenant from the dad of the little girl I nanny for; he is an officer. Then I finally decided to tell Ricki, my pastor the idea.

       That December, West Sound Community church delivered four hundred and fifty gift bags to the people in jail of Kitsap County. Not only are we reaching out to those in jail, but also their families, the officers who are handing out the bags, and everyone who hears about it. This is a simple act of showing God’s love.

     As word got out the Chaplin of the jail contacted me asking if we could bring in Bibles. Of course! Each person he works with receives a study Bible, a book mark with a verse on it, and an encouraging note in the Bible from a member at West Sound. I was also contacted by the juvenile center and have been bringing in treats every month since February 2014 for the kids. My hope is that both ministries will grow and God will keep using West Sound as time goes on.

    West Sound has been a huge encouragement to me as I am continuing on with this ministry through prayer, finances, and words of encouragement. It was simply an idea and I let God do the rest. 

Proverbs 3: 5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”

To support: write a check to Project Hope

At 2356 NW Rude Rd, Poulsbo, WA 98370

Bible On The Bottom

I was cleaning my room one Saturday morning when I had noticed I had a few books on the floor, but they were stacked. It wasn’t the fact they were on the floor that made me think and question where my life was at. It was the fact that my Bible was on the bottom of my work out log and my planner. Now I realize people stack books biggest on bottom and smallest on top, but that wasn’t my case. I had realized that my books were in the order of my importance. Notice the first books were about me, and then there’s Gods word on the bottom. Why?  Because I had put God there. 

Matthew 6:19-21

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Stopping in my tracks I stared at the books knowing what book should of been on top. It wasn’t intentional but it was definitely eye opening to the way I’ve been living my life. I had put my desires and plans above what God has for me. 

Psalm 37:4

“Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Show and Tell

cool your dad got you  a ball, a toy car, a doll, bet I could top them all! I thought sitting in my desk waiting for my turn in Mrs. Jeffers second grade class. Finally it was my turn.

“What’d you bring for show and tell Mihaela?” she had asked. I could feel my self smiling that mischievous smile I always smile like I was up to no good. My mom was standing in the door way.

“This here is my sister!” I said dragging her in the doorway displaying her in front of the classroom. Jenny, my sister, who was shy ran out the door. So I dragged her back in. I was so proud of having a sister. My parents went to Guatemala and had adopted her. My classmates gifts couldn’t top the gift I had to show them. Even if  Johnny got ten thousand trucks and Suzie got a million dolls no one was ever feeling what I had felt that day, proud. I’m twenty-one now and I can still say giving me a sister is the best gift my parents have ever given me, and now I have five!

Family is amazing! And I thank God for them every time I think of them. But no one not even my parents could give me or us what God has given us.

Ephesians 2:4-8

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast

By: Mihaela Chamberlain


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