Identity Crisis

Me and my dad. Year of my adoption.
Me and my dad. Year of my adoption.

    I opened an envelope written in Romanian.

Silvia reads the letter. “It’s from your birth family. Wait this guy claims to be your dad.”

    I stand silent. 

She asks if I want to see him on the CD. 


    It wasn’t the I’m craving the empty void inside me kind of ‘yes’ some of us adopted children have when we yearn for our birth families even if we don’t know them. It was a sure why not? Kind of ‘yes’. 

    You see I once was bonded to my birth mom for nine months in her whom, but that was it. For so long I bound myself in curiosity letting thoughts stir of who the mystery birth-dad was. I even yearned to hear my birth mom’s voice, and feel her embrace. Some babies die and some hurt forever, because those nine months of sharing an identity  with a birth-mom is so important. That is why so many babies are traumatized when they are taken away from birth mothers. 

But when this guy marched back into my life twenty-one years later “Hi I’m your dad” in a letter all I could think was….

Are you though? You were never there when I needed you most. My dad was. In fact you might think you are my dad because I’m of your blood, but you’re not. I have a dad. But most importantly I have a heavenly father. 

Romans 8:15 “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

I do not hate this man for not doing what he should have done, be a dad. I just want to know why now…twenty-one years later…

Read on :

Christian Crutches


                   ***For adopted Christians***
    Too many people walk around with the heavy weight of bitterness, or excuses for their behavior.

They say things like “Well you don’t understand” or “When I was little…..” and go on to tell me the sad story. Your right, I don’t understand. Everyone is different and is affected differently. But God understands.Blood Doesn’t Mean Everything
    We can cry, and ache, and hurt. That is ok. But when we become
bitter, and let it consume us, this is not ok. No one has to be on earth long to experience pain.
    Take a piece of my testimony for example, I was baby unwanted. I cried and ached for love just like any baby, but no one came. The one who was “supposed” to love me, didn’t want me. That small part right there stops so many other adopted people in their tracks.
They cannot get passed the fact that yes our birth parents screwed up! Or in few cases couldn’t take care of them. Fellow adoptees and other believers I have just one question for you.
    How are we supposed to be the most effective for Christ when we are not allowing God to use those scars as our testimony? When we soak in the heartache of abandonment we are letting the Devil win that battle. I once heard a quote that says ” The Devil may win some battles, but God wins the war”
    No more crying Children. We are men and women of Faith who can choose
to stare at life in the face fearless, because of Who has adopted us and comes to us when we cry.

    Philippians 3 12-14 “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

    Romans 8:15 “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”‘

More here:

Blood doesn’t mean everything 

Courageous Child