Butterflies

The butterflies he  gives me turned to tiny feet.

We are pregnant!

13 weeks

 

.Baby pics

 

 

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Renovate My Heart

 

Dear God, 

I compare my heart to a home being remodeled. It has a starting point, that isn’t quite how I want it to be. As all the tools are taken out and the work begins it starts to look messy, and even broken. A part of me wants to put it all back and even postpone the fixing. I cant stand the mess! It becomes too hard. It looks more broken then worked on. But I know with time, effort and a desire, it will grow. Even when it seems finished there is always maintenance to be done. Forever with my heart you are growing me , breaking me and changing me.

Amen

Photo credit: Jesus and Us Ministry 

Cannon Beach Rain

I love my rain boots! The memories behind these boots always bring a smile to my face. The memories of Ecola dance in the back of my mind as I slip them on year after year.

I will always cherish the friendships that were made, the lessons learned, the Biblical teaching, and the peace I had. It is weird to think that had I not gone to Ecola I would have not  met Peter, because I never would have met Jessica at school.

All it took for me was one coffee in Minnesota and I knew as I walked out of those doors I was going to Bible school. Seven years ago. This was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life.

My rain boots have special place in my heart, with Ecola.

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Do you guys have that one item that every time you wear it fond memories come back?

My Blogs Story

For those who work with youth I want you to know that what you say is impactful. Reading the small pieces of my youthful heart my youth leader encouraged me to start a blog.

“You should start a blog.”

Those powerful words of encouragement year after year started to make me wonder if maybe my writings are worth reading and maybe she isn’t just being nice. Her blog is here!   When I started sharing my poems with my cousins and a few other people I became more confident in my writing and that is when the blog began. 

So at 16 I kept my journals close and at 20 I published my first writing.

My blog was mine a few years ago before it became ours. In fact it was hidden in journals before even publishing.  Some of my writings are about ten years old.

I am believer and I believe I was given a gift. My spelling may be off and my grammer well…lets not talk about that. My only hope for this blog is that if glorifies God and encourages others in their seasons that they are going through as well.

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The Bold Chef

Very few people know this about me…I do not like cooking. When I was younger I used to tell my mom that I was going to have to marry Doctor slash Chef that way everything’s taken care of. Of course it made perfect sense in a fourteen year old’s mind. As much as it was a joke the idea of cooking was still horrible to me. 

But slowly each day with my husbands encouragement I’m becoming more confident.

    This is an insecurity God is working on in me. It has honestly been one of the toughest parts of being a newly wed. But because of our work schedules I am the main cook in our house. 

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Sometimes Peter helps me chop up veggies or check on the food to help me keep going. Many times I want to throw in the apron and call it quits. 

For those who know Peter he is known as the picky eater. I haven’t witnessed it yet with my cooking. 

    Since we have been married I have made soup for the first time and used the crock pot. I’ve been trying different recipes but I keep them similar.

    I set a meal plan so I’m only shopping twice a month (that way I don’t feel like I’m always always at the store) and stick to our budget. There were times when there would be a week left until the next month and I would have to get creative.  Luckily cooking allows that. 

Slowly each day I am becoming more confident as God is working out the insecurities in me.

 

What Peter Teaches Me

He Understands My Heart

Is It Just A Honeymoon Season?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love Letters To God

I’ve experienced:

Loss

Regret

Hurt

Victories

and Love

just like anyone else.

Tears stream down my face as I as read through my old prayer journals and see how faithful God has been throughout my life.

I started writing letters to God when I was fifteen; I’m twenty-five now. As the years went on I started really getting into the prayer journals; I started decorating mine or buying really nice ones. I would keep one on me that way if I would get alone time I could just take it out and write. This is how I find time with God.

As the ink hits the paper so my heart opens to him. This is where I meet him for quiet time. This is how I am still before him. I discover things that have been on my heart that I didn’t know where there until I would write them down. Writing out prayers has helped me think out all the insecurities I had then and have now. I as continue so seek him he will be forever faithful. He is always on the other end waiting for his letter. 

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How do you spend time with him?

 

 

Dear Former Body

He Understands My Heart

Romans Reality

Prayer At Work

Tear Up Your Bible

I Am Overwhelmed

 

 

 

 

Could I Get A little Privacy?

    I believe there is a privacy that many have forgotten and have used social media or  conversations as a personal journal. Boundaries are crossed that many don’t even know they have crossed. Then every party involved leave at what a could of been an encouraging time, but instead had a gossip session.

    I used to feel guilty for listening to someone “vent” on their marriage issues, financial issues or way to personal issues that I never should of never known about in the first place. I felt like if I didn’t listen to them I wasn’t being a good friend, but by listening to them  I wasn’t. It’s not my job to hear or know someone on a level where God knows them. That is where God needs to be and they are putting me there.

   God asks us to Guard our hearts through out scripture and we must do the same for them by watching what we share as well. 

    Don’t get me wrong I love keeping up with peoples lives and hearing if someone got a new pet, a new baby, or if they share their hobbies on facebook. But I honestly do cringe and scroll when too much media sharing is seen.  Sometimes I wish I could just scroll past in conversations with other women….

 I have learned I can! 

 I have approached my friends in saying “I’m learning about this new thing about myself. I listen to my friends vent thinking I should be a good friend but then leave feeling horrible because too much is shared.”  

The conversation we the have is clean, and encouraging. Both of our hearts are protected and God is glorified.

 

Read more here:

The Mouth Of This Lion

Dear Embarrasing Parents

Who Are You Glorifying?

 

 

 

 

He Understands My Heart

    I cry.

Peter holds me.

I say a silent prayer crying out to God. 

    There are times not even Peter can comfort me. This is the sweet fellowship I get with Christ. Yes, it hurts. But He is bigger. He understands. He is our true comforter.

  The first few months of our marriage was hard not because of the cliche things people told me: house being a mess, getting sick, constant fighting, or weight gain. Actually none of that happened. What happened was the unexpected. Old insecurities rose inside of me from when I was child. Even I couldn’t see my mood swings coming. Then I would fear the next time they would occur.

Why does my beloved have to suffer with me? I would feel a burden for him. I started believing lies the devil wants me to believe.

What if Peter never comes back?

Anxiety was my fight for weeks. When he’d leave for work in the morning I’d hold back tears. The fear kept growing. I would have one good day…

Then bam.

Overtaken.

Motivation lost. 

My heart would race, tears stream, head spin. 

Why God does my beloved have to suffer with me? 

The smell of death was all around me for three years.  I carry a burden I shouldn’t hold. But I do.

    Why did I live and they didn’t? For years I have ignored the question, because when it consumes me guilt becomes my thoughts.  Year after year my birthday gets harder because the devil fuels my mind with the lie “you shouldn’t of made it this far.”

    “Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can’t heal.” the lyrics of Come as you are sung by: Crowder are sung in church. The insides of me cry out to God. He is the only one who understands my heart completely. Tears stream down my face. Not because I am sad. But Knowing Christ Himself knows my every thought, hears my hearts inner cries, wants all of me, and is my joy.

Phillipians 4:4-7h

 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

More on my childhood journeyhttps://hylaandpeterechols.com/2015/02/20/ptsd-black-sheep/

https://hylaandpeterechols.com/2014/10/19/the-hardest-story-to-tell-mine/

 

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Dear Former Body

As I was rummaging through my old writings I came across a few letters I wrote from when I was about thirteen. My inspiration for this writing came from there.

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photo credit: unknown

https://hylaandpeterechols.com/2015/12/22/good-day-2/

https://hylaandpeterechols.com/2014/09/05/her-identity/

https://hylaandpeterechols.com/2015/06/26/make-up/

Dear Body, I’m sorry for looking away as soon as I would catch my reflection in the mirror…. 

I’m sorry for masking myself with make up and replacing my confidence….

For the times I should of fed you and didn’t……

When I should’ve kept you out of harms reach and put you in the dead-center of it…. 

For not letting the tears that should’ve been righteously shed but instead ignored….

For burning myself out with lists beyond lists….

For allowing my mouth to kill and not save….

For allowing my thoughts to invade truths Christ always wants to whisper to my heart….

Apologies are great but no one believes them until they are seen through action and so body I’m ready. 

I’m ready to take off my mask…

To surround you in good company…

To let the tears fall…

To shut the mouth of this lion…

To rest in Christ. 

Sincerely, 

A Changed Heart.

 

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