I Will Always Love My Ex

*****For those who have gone through heart break*****

    This isn’t the I’ll never let go of my ex love. No, this is sacrificial love. Giving up my desires good or bad for his well being.

    “I will always love my ex” some of you are probably are thinking
Mihaela has officially gone off the deep end.

    Yes, we broke up, yes, it was an unhealthy relationship (The Scariest Road, TheTestimony Guitar) and yes, I had to refind my identity in Christ again.
Through being restored in Christ I have learned how to love him in the best way. Letting him go was the best thing I could do for both of us. I was pulling him away from Christ due to the poison aloud in the relationship.

    As God was forming my heart and still is, many of my writings were formed over the Summer. I was also staying in contact with a friend who had recently gone through a similar situation, through it we would keep each other posted on the new things God was teaching us and how he was working on restoring our hearts.

Friend :Are you doing ok, still working on healing?

Me: oh yeah! man I’ve gotten really funny since ****** like I’ve been quick and witty and I keep singing all the time. My healing process has been slow as it should be but i have become more confident in where my identity is now that I am putting in Christ

(Her Identity)

I would be remembering a lived nightmare every time I woke up in the
morning for months on end. I had to grieve.

Friend: Do you…have a hard time letting parts of your relationship go?
Do you still struggle with hurt, anger, guilt?
Does it occupy your mind way more than you thought it would?

Me: I know that ******will always be apart of me but he doesn’t consume my mind anymore.
He did a lot for a while. after the past few months id do good then be haunted again. but hitting
my 6months and looking back God has gotten me soooooo incredibly far. That still doesn’t mean
the hauntings will just disappear no! But now I can say shoot I’m not that girl anymore.
She is dead and alive in Christ. You see 6 months and 2 days ago i decided to come back to the heart of worship.
breaking my own heart because I realized I was breaking Gods.

My heart started to feel victory in Christ remembering that I do not have to
let memories anchor my daily life and my future. Memories are a thing
in the past.

Me: I feel strong when I’m around him. Like he cant hurt me because i wont let him. God has definitely dried this girls tears from him, and I’m sure there are more to come. But I know God will dry those up too. I’m not dating for a while. I don’t want to just take a guy cuz hes there so I’m giving myself time. Plus God and I are on a role! I’ve been praying a lot more, diving into ministry, and staying in the word.

    Readers I share this because I know what its like to live in sin (scariest road) and not want to face the ugly girl in the mirror. I know what it’s like to know Gods grace is not deserved.

    “Maybe you cant forgive yourself but he cross is enough.” – friend

    God had forgiven me. I had to learn to forgive my ex.

Romans 6:11 “In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”

    God loves me. I had to love my ex.

John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

    Through prayer, staying in the word God will wipe away
our grieving tears into tears of joy.

    Nothing is too big for God. He is holding you.