I Am Overwhelmed

    I begin to tear up as I look through pictures and prayer journals packing for my next move. Memories dance.

Who am I, oh Lord, that you have brought me so far?

    Whether I choose to follow Christ or not my life is a miracle. (The Hardest Story to Tell) I don’t know the hurt girl in these journal entries. She is a stranger. 

   Meeting me a few years back and meeting me now I only hope people see a change of heart. A woman who’s lifestyle is a walking testimony.

Who am I, oh Lord, that you have brought me so far? 

    I am overwhelmed by Gods grace and how he has restored my heart again and again–how he chooses us again and again. How he fought for our very souls. How we are worth something to him.

Who am I, oh Lord, that you are bringing me so far? 

I feel like David in this prayer. I am so overwhelmed by the Lord’s love.

Psalm 8:3-4

“When I consider your heavens,
    the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
    which you have set in place,
 what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?”

  God loved us before we came to be. He chose us then, on the cross and is choosing us now.  I am overwhelmed. Despite where I am from, what I have done, the thoughts I’ve thought, the horrible things I have wanted to do, he still wants me. As I allow God to work in my heart, he patiently breaks it, molds it, then breaks it again making me more like him. This is our life long journey he wants to take with us. 

Who am I oh Lord that you are bringing me so far?

Although the constant battles of my flesh hide within my heart; I remember he broke my chains when I chose him. I don’t have to be the old girl of past. She is a stranger. She is dead. She is forgiven. She is redeemed. She is made new. 

Who am I oh Lord that you have brought me so far?

Written July 3rd, 2015

Her Identity



The Scariest Road

    Have you ever wondered how God or anyone could forgive the choices you’ve made?

          The choices we’ve made are apart of us, but don’t have to define us. 

             I’m going to tell you a story about a girl who forgot her first love. She made one choice and it led to sinning. She took a road and got lost. She was afraid at first, but then was curious and saw how different it was from the other road she had taken before. On the road, there were thorns and rocks that cut her feet up. At first it hurt, but soon she ignored them, justified them, and told herself she could walk through them alone. Her feet bled. Farther along, the thorns had grown as tall as trees. She tried to push through. Regretting her choice, her whole body bled. “God what should I do?” she asked stepping back. 

         “Stop hurting yourself!” He cried through tears. Oh how it hurt him to see His little girl trying to push through the pain. 

       She stepped back for second, and realized that going through would only hurt. Wrapping up her wounds she thought it would help make her feet bleed less. Again, she persisted through the thorns. More blood was spilled as the wounds were becoming deeper. “God what should I do?!” she screamed.

       “Daughter stop. Please stop! There is another way.” He pleaded.

      She stepped back and decided to chop through it with a machete. She lost it in the thorny mess. The sky was getting darker as time passed. More blood dripped. She could hardly see her feet in the blood that was covering them. Pushing through again, her body hated her for this. Finally, after hours of pushing she stepped back. “Oh God, what should I do?” she asked through her hopeless tears.

      “Sit down.” He whispered. 

      She sat. “Now what?”

     Psalm 46:10

      “Daughter I want you to come back to me. Love me. Follow me.” He answered.

      Looking up to heaven she closed her eyes and began walking. She felt water under her feet. Some of her scratches went away as she kept walking through the water and into a grassy meadow. As time went by her scars faded, but remained. She opened her eyes and found where she once was before she went down the scariest road she thought was only in scary stories and didn’t ever want it to become hers.  “Oh God I am so sorry, forgive me, I want to follow you.” she cried. 

       ” I already have.” He answered.

John 10:1-18

      Have you ever wondered how God or anyone could forgive the choices you’ve made? Someone once told me to just keep falling in love with the Lord and I would find that I wont have to forgive myself, because what He has done on the cross for us, is enough. This I believe. 

Dedicated to 3-17-14