In the past I would’ve told my children they couldn’t partake in communion. But today I took it as an opportunity to tell them why we are getting juice cups and crackers. I’m learning in the chaos of life to teach my children the most important thing that they will need to turn to at the end of the day which is following Jesus.

“Talk to them. Let their curiosity be an opportunity to include them in something good.”

If I truly want my children to learn about the Lord and follow him I need to take the daily opportunities. 

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

Ephesians 5:1-2

When they willingly pick up their Bible and ask to read.

When they ask questions at bedtime. 

When they want to play Bible story app with me on my iPad. 

When they ask to sit in Church and do what the grown ups are doing.

When they want to do their own “devotional” while I do mine. I give them daily bread books to write in while I work on mine.

These are daily opportunities that I cannot let slip past me. Ephesians reminds us about the waging war inside world. This is a soul battle. This creates an urgency in my heart as I’m reminded of this.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Ephesians 6:12-13

I want to slow down and let their curiosity lead me to godly conversations with them. Even if it inconvenient to the worlds schedule. It’s powerful for them and could save their very souls.

This was one of the most memorable Mother’s Day. We celebrated on Friday. Peter dropped Jason off at school and brought Logan with giving me some time to sleep in. I was still in bed when Logan ran in with the huge balloon “Happy Mother’s Day mom”. I invited him in the bed to dive in the sun chips together and snuggle. Tears suddenly started streaming down my face. Fighting against negative thoughts and being swarmed with thankfulness all at once. 

I don’t take my boys for granted. It’s hard pushing myself past the lies I once was told ‘you don’t deserve to be a mom’. And yet God himself gifted me with my son’s. Then as I’ve navigated the early years of motherhood trying so hard to be the best mom I can be for my boys still never felt I was doing enough. It was my counselor who has helped me slowly build my confidence, push past the lies and even say out loud “ I am a good mom”. Others still question, but I’m done questioning. I can’t raise them in the shame and guilt I never deserved. The battle inside still wages but slowly one step at a time I know I am the best mom for the children God has given me. 

I  used to think it’s not a big deal if you see a dad holding his child. People would compliment Peter and say he’s a good dad for holding the boys. I would shake my head at these compliments. Overtime I’ve learned some children don’t even have memories of being held by their dad. Our culture has taught men to not be affectionate, because it’s a sign of weakness. Children don’t need a tough dad, they need a kind compassionate dad who gets down at their level wipes her tears, talk to them calmly when they are losing their own control. They need a dad who reads to them, can be silly with them, who doesn’t rule over them, but gently guides. They need a dad who holds them. 

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”