Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. IICor. 5:17
Author: Mihaela Echols
As we are on this crazy journey of life together we see how God has been faithful to us.
I write on our family journey through parenthood and adoption.
As I read I am blown away at how God reminds me of these truths…
“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ… For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more having been reconciled, we shall be saved His life. And not only this, but we exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation… For if by the transgression of the one, death through the one, much more those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ” Romans 5:1, 5:10, 5:17
These truths are part of what was going through my head one Sunday morning as I fought a spiritual battle against the lies Satan wants me to believe. The prince of this world was pushing and pushing at me to accept thoughts like…
I am worthless
I will never measure up
I cannot lead in ministry
But God says no and we read it in Romans. Once all I had was sin in my life but now God supernaturally has changed everything except the physical appearance. The underline part above is what stops me in my tracks because of how good God is. Not only does God’s grace and righteousness cover and wipe away our sins, because of the cross; it also puts us in a new whole new light and life. Abundance in our imagination still cant describe just how much God has poured into us.
I am now justified, reconciled, redeemed, and put in a righteous standing with him. He does not see me for any other idea than…
A masterpiece
A son of God with the Holy Spirit testifying to God (Romans 8:14-8:16)
Washed clean by his blood (Romans 5:9)
Then there is still one more amazing thing that he has done for me and all believers. He gave us the Holy Spirit…
“But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak, and He will disclose to you what is to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you.” John 16:13-14
That Sunday morning as I fought against Satan and all the junk he was trying to put into my head, the Holy Spirit kept reminding of all these truths. God is at work all the time for our behalf.
When others see Peter give me a kiss or watch us talk things out when there is miscommunication they say things like:
“Have you even gotten in a real fight?”
“You know you’re only in the ‘honeymoon’ season”.
What they don’t understand is how adjusting to married life has been hard for us. Even our dating season was hard. PTSD, setting family boundaries, change of becoming one-flesh, new ministry opportunities, and life circumstances are hard.
The Devil constantly fights to tear our marriage apart by throwing obstacles our way. Why? Because we love the Lord!
Going into our marriage we knew that life was only going to get harder. By pushing each other in prayer, Bible reading, in ministry projects, and in our personal walks with Christ together…the Kingdom will expand.
As the years go by I only hope to love Peter more than on our wedding day. And I can! Staying in prayer and in fellowship with Christ makes that possible. Marriage is another testimony for the world to see. Some might think their walk with Christ is done and the other person can finish it because they are one-flesh. They are forgetting teamwork and are putting their identity in the other person. Marriage is one-flesh, but there are two people in it. Two people who both need Christ as much as the other. Honeymoon season doesn’t have to be just a season. It can become a way of life. If others see us trying to go through our marriage without Christ being our center then disaster will be all they see.
These past few months have been very hard, but as a couple we are growing stronger in Him every day. Sometimes I feel like we go one step forward and twenty steps back. When I get caught up in the twenty steps back I forget that those twenty steps back might actually be us moving forward. It might just not feel that way.
If you were encouraged by this feel free to share.
Welding…it was what I was hired on to do but not what I did for the first year and a half of my job. I did have a couple of welding opportunities throughout the time which I was grateful for. Fire watching was my job which meant watching the welder for how ever long and making sure everything is safe. I understood that this was an important job but it got monotonous after months. Most of the time I would come to work feeling frustrated because I felt like I did not earn the money which was being given to me. I also felt like I was not being effective for God either but He started to change my thinking through a mentor of mine.
It all started with an idea he threw out to me…prayer. Before this idea came along I had been praying throughout the day but this expanded my prayer life immensely. People would receive my text asking what they needed prayer for. God used this time in the beginning of my job to be effective for Him, our relationship, and the people I interacted with.
“I always knew he was praying for me when we were friends.” – Mihaela
As time went on this process changed my thinking and allowed me to have contentment because my identity did not rest in working hard every day. Though like most guys we want to work hard and I yearned for it, but Christ is my centerpiece. Being up to date on just how exactly I could pray for people was the highlight of my day. I hope you guys are encouraged with how God can turn something seemingly boring into an awesome time in prayer.
Peter and I look through our receipts. I calculate from each account. Do we have to live this way? No. But we choose to. Most people ‘ choose this lifestyle. Maybe some day we will be full in full-time ministry on ministry support but for now we work the nine to five jobs. We are tent makers. When we say tent makers we are referring to Paul in the Bible who made tents to support his ministry spreading the gospel around the world.
When we get over time all we can think of is all the people we can bless around us.
For Peter, his missions trip to Malawi A Different World opened his eyes even more on how much we have and how greedy so many people are. He was reminded of how little people can have and still be content. He then realized how much he can bless people around him by having the job he has. His passion for giving grew abundantly.
Readers we write this to encourage you to continue to bless those in greater need. I (Mihaela) will be honest it was very hard for me to give joyfully or even give at all especially in the paycheck to paycheck days. But over time God was working in my heart. When I started Project Hope Just an Idea passion for the misunderstood burned in my heart. I stopped worrying about my bank account and let God do what he does best, provide.
II Corinthians 9:7
“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
I am happy with this change but it has been confusing, and I know it will take time.
“Ma’am what is your name?” The person over the phone asks as I prepare for a women’s retreat.
I froze.
“Mihaela…aaahh”
In that moment I had no idea what to say. Being a newlywed for a few weeks I am still getting used to our identity and who I am to Peter. Who I am now.
I finally got the last name out. “Echols”
“Thank you ma’am and your email.”
“Yeah aaah Cham-ber-lain” I begin slowly
I had no idea how to answer these simple questions. I had to sit down after getting off the phone. I wonder this question as I learn my new identity as a wife Is this what it’s like when you are adopted as and older child? Do their minds spin as they answer the same simple question ‘What is your name?’. Do they stare at the new last or first name after they write it down for as long as I do?
I was looking for an adventure, something to get out of not only Washington, but of the U.S. My thinking was that the ministry happening in Kitsap Country was really good and I am excited for it but there is so much more outside of it to see. I needed to stretch my faith and get out of the comfort zone many of us tend to live in for the sake of Christ. This wanderlust and need to get out of my comfort zone had been in the back of my head for a year or so. It brought me to a friend I had known since high school named Kyle Donn who works with COTN (Children Of The Nations).
Kyle told me about a missions trip to Sierra Leone which is a country in a desperate time between the AIDS epidemic and fall out from civil war. I thought to myself Theres no time like now Lord, let’s do it and so I told him I would love to go for a month. I told Kyle that if possible I would also love to use my welding job skills in the country to help out. He started to coordinate with other people and getting the group together. I sent out support letters and was slowly getting excited for this new adventure, like none I had ever been on. Then the Ebola Virus outbreak happened and put a stop to all teams going. I was disheartened but Kyle informed that a missions trip to Malawi was coming up in the summer (the one we are finishing). Again he would try his best to make it possible for a project which included welding. Little did I know that this trip would be so much more than just doing a few projects.
One of the two kids I ended up chosing to sponsor
Once all the funds were in and everything was ready, it was time to undertake this great journey. My expectations before going was that our projects would take up almost all of our time. I was a little more focused on the projects though and realized this two weeks into our trip. God had big plans for my personal walk with him. I knew that I would grow but again had no idea how much. I fell in love with Malawi, the people, the food, and the relationships. During my time in Malawi I also talked to my fiance (now my wife, Mihaela Echols) about sponsoring a kid…and a university student.
Starting from day one in-country everything slowed down including our schedule. Yes, we had projects like I had mentioned and were busy during the day but just imagine not having your cell phone going off once during the day. In fact imagine not even thinking about checking your email or phone…etc. I was reminded just how important personal, real, and genuine relationships are in our lives.
When I got to spend every day with our translators and in the evening different people…oh man do you grow close. Our team would play games at night if not spending time in each of our own devotions or with the people around. God used Molly and Misha (two of our team members) with their years of camp experience and friendliness to do things like Spotlight which helped our team out a lot coming from a group of strangers to a close-knit team. In Spotlight one person was in the “Spotlight” and included three different parts to it. The first being questions to them, whether silly or serious. Then came encouragement to them in any way, wether it be what you have observed in their personality or maybe something you just thought was really cool they did during the day. Lastly praying over the person and if they had any specific prayer request we would pray for that too. This Spotlight and also sharing each of our testimonies throughout the trip really helped to pull the group together and I thank God for that.
Slowing down helped me to grow more than I had been and strengthen my dependence on Christ with him as my identity, meaning, and satisfaction. I had my ups and downs but the Holy Spirit would remind me in verses and in thoughts that I am not alone. Here is part of a journal entry one day when I was struggling that Gods grace was not sufficient for me…
“You remind me during lunch of Psalms 119:9-16 Lord, thank you for the leading of the Holy Spirit. Guide me, help me keep your statues and treasure them. Your grace is sufficient for me, even when I think not.”
God supplied me all month-long with his strength, joy, peace, and contentment because I continually came back to him. I do not mean to say that bragging though because without God would not be the same man or have the contentment Christ provides me with. I don’t deserve anything God has blessed me with including life and the Cross. He knew that I would be going on this trip and everything that would accompany it.
As I said, I was reminded just how important personal relationships are. In the picture above is two individuals I chose to sponsor, the little girl is Cathleen and the man to my left is Samiton. I had the honor of meeting Cathleen’s family and Samiton’s younger brother. Cathleen and her family live in a house a little smaller than mine which is 400 square ft. More than that no running power or electricity but the family was so happy. The mom was so thankful that I chose to sponsor her and it was humbling, heart-breaking, and life changing all at the same time. God was not done with me yet.
I again was humbled but this time at Samiton and his story of life which is very common in Malawi. His dad had three kids with his mom, a daughter and two sons which he is the oldest sibling of them all. Around nine his dad left home and has never come back or communicated back to them. He was left with having to step up and be the man of the house…at nine. He is now starting college and cooks for COTN to pay for housing at their campus. When he is not busy with school or cooking, he is at home helping his mom with gardening and farming. He has his dreams but never walked away from the most important thing to him.
This missions trip has had the most impact on me compared to any other one I have been on. I have a huge desire to go back but this time it will be with my wife. We are planning to go back in two years, possibly with the same team if everyone ends up being free that summer.
Silvia reads the letter. “It’s from your birth family. Wait this guy claims to be your dad.”
I stand silent.
She asks if I want to see him on the CD.
“Yes.”
It wasn’t the I’m craving the empty void inside me kind of ‘yes’ some of us adopted children have when we yearn for our birth families even if we don’t know them. It was a sure why not? Kind of ‘yes’.
You see I once was bonded to my birth mom for nine months in her whom, but that was it. For so long I bound myself in curiosity letting thoughts stir of who the mystery birth-dad was. I even yearned to hear my birth mom’s voice, and feel her embrace. Some babies die and some hurt forever, because those nine months of sharing an identity with a birth-mom is so important.That is why so many babies are traumatized when they are taken away from birth mothers.
But when this guy marched back into my life twenty-one years later “Hi I’m your dad” in a letter all I could think was….
Are you though? You were never there when I needed you most. My dad was. In fact you might think you are my dad because I’m of your blood, but you’re not. I have a dad. But most importantly I have a heavenly father.
Romans 8:15 “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
I do not hate this man for not doing what he should have done, be a dad. I just want to know why now…twenty-one years later…
Looking back at my wedding day I would only do a few things differently, but in the end it looked perfect. Who says you cant have your dream wedding? After hearing about how Peter and I saved and put things together, friends asked me to do a writing on it. Here is some advice for newly weds who can have their dream wedding and not go bank rupt.
When you begin your planning start off with a budget and STICK WITH IT. I kept receipts and marked it in a book. It’s very easy to loose track when you see all the possiblities for your theme. This is where pinterest came in handy for us. I made a board, then we looked at what we could afford. Weddings bring people together we asked people for help. Most of our decorations were from friends who knew our taste. Having the pinterest board as their guide helped us save money and have it come to life. I learned I had to look online before going into stores if I really wanted to save. Everything online is cheaper. Ask yourselves where you really want to put your money. We put ours into the photographers knowing the pictures are what make the day last.
Many people forget that a wedding is just one day of their lives. After spending way more than they could afford they dont have enough for a honeymoon. Weddings are a big deal but I can tell you no one remembers our cute ribbon on our bubbles for send away, or the fact that we used lace table cloth instead of silk. They only remember us.
We decided on an afternoon wedding so we could do wedding pictures in the morning and not have people wait for us. This also made food easy and cheap. We did fruit cobobs and chicken cobobs. Most weddings money goes toward food. We figured people would eat lunch then come and not be looking for a meal.
Just remember it’s your day and you are not trying to please everyone. The people who are in the bridal party should be the people who are going to be with you every step of the way through the planning. I could not ask for better bridesmaids. They went with the flow even when it got chaotic and never complained. They were always checking in on me and making sure I was keeping my cool. I dont beleive brides get the option to be brideszilla. People are helping you and dont have to. Many brides forget that.
My Girls
Things did go wrong for our big day. In fact a lot of things went wrong. They will. It’s a wedding and things happen. That is why it is good to have a hundred dollars from your wedding budget set aside in case something happens. Just remember you will be married and thats what counts. Happy wedding planning!
Our wedding costed 3,138 inluding recption and pictures our budget was 4,000
Here’s a small chart of our planning.
Dress: 10$ (I was looking for any white lace dress) (stayed out of bridal stores)
Two wedding photographers: X amount
Cake free: (friend)
send off car free: (our car)
hair:free (family)
nails:free (friend)
make up:free (friend)
engagement photos: $250 (friends)
Food: $190 (costco)
Flowers: $105 (seattle farmers market)
Venue/reception: free (friends back yard)
DJ: free (friend)
Invites: $300 (pinterest)
Decorations: about $200 (this includesplates/cups/balloons/prorgams/ ect.)
Things we changed….
send off car-ours broke down the night before the wedding so we used mine.
A lot of you who know me may be wondering why my Facebook profile has a picture of Peter and me kissing when I always say, “kissing looks gross.” There’s a small part of mine and Peter’s story we kept for our family, close friends and ourselves.
We didn’t kiss on the lips until the morning of our wedding.
When we set the standard of not kissing, boundaries became harder. We were allowed to kiss on the cheek and hand but there were times we decided to not even do that. We struggled along the way.
Some may say we were too extreme but…
fighting to love each other the right way is not extreme.
Because of our broken pasts The Scariest Roadwe had to be, so-called ‘extreme.’ Had we kissed before our wedding it wouldn’t of been sinning. We would’ve just been falling short of goals we set and therefore making the other less important than our selfish desires.
We continue to thank God for our victories. Now that we are married we are more aware of the physical and emotional connection kissing has. The idea of kissing someone besides my husband is foreign and wrong.
I write this to encourage those who are fighting for a healthy relationship centered in Christ. You can do it. So don’t stop fighting for it.
When my eyes are off of myself others eyes turn to God.
Our flesh steals the testimony of God. It consumes our conversations and our thoughts. It is the monster inside us battling for more of us and less of Him.
Romans 7:14-25
I see it in myself when my conversations are all about me and not of what God is doing in me. When I concern myself with who is reading my writings and I forget the motive behind writing them….
When I get frustrated when ministry is not going at my pace….
The list goes on.
These past few days have been my selfish days of letting the “Me Monster” win. I have been stressed and frustrated at letting the little silly things build up inside.
But, today I am reading this:
Galatians 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves
be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
I’ll say it again, when my eyes are off of myself others eyes turn to God.
Believers have a testimony that our flesh wants to silence. But the verse above tells us we don’t have to live by the flesh anymore because we have Christ living in us, working in us, and transforming us everyday.
Here we are in this moment with our choice before us:
Hylaandpeterechols.com 