As I wipe down this house my mind takes a walk down memory lane from when I once constantly wiped it down as a child, to being a teenager longing to have a child someday play with it too. Today I got that privilege. Today I got to watch my son play with something that was once my sanctuary and now his imagination. And I am so thankful because it will never have to be his sanctuary. After everything was wiped and set up he asked where the people were. Because of my early childhood wounds people weren’t in there. They were forbidden in my world. So I took out our little Lego Duplo people for him. My heart was beaming watching my child set the people around the table because my child does not have to carry the wounds I once carried. For this I’m thankful.
I find people’s reactions interesting when we tell them we are done having children. With both of us coming from larger families to them it would make sense for us to have more.
But when I tell them I have high risk pregnancies the subject is immediately dropped. Although the subject of adopting does come up with me being adopted, and us looking into adopting in the past even after having our first. But after having our second we felt complete. Even then others are left puzzled.
I will never understand why society is telling parents they can’t be content with the size they want their family to be. I don’t mind if people are genuinely curious about our journey, but to tell us is just silly nonsense to me.
I hear less comments about having two or three children as if that’s the acceptable amount to have but when parents chose to have one or a huge family that’s when parents are flooded with unnecessary comments.
Huge families typically hear:
“Got the whole crew?”
“Boy your hands are full!”
“How do you feed them all?”
“I would not be able to handle that many.”
The new one I’m becoming familiar with is the parents who are content with one child.
They often hear:
“Just wait till he/she is older you’ll want more.”
“your kid needs a friend”
“Yeah it will be easier to get sitters with just one.”
Parenting is HARD.
One child is not just one child.
Forever investing and living a selfish life to a being that doesn’t owe us anything is hard!
Everyone has their reasons for how many children THEY can handle and that is the journey we should be supporting.
As my standards get higher my circle gets smaller.
If you become friends with me as mother I know you are in it for the long haul. More grace is needed as I learn through my imperfections. You are joining me on the journey with my children as they learn, grow and work through the challenges of this worldtoo.
I began filtering out the people who were takers in our relationship when I was pregnant with our first. I became more aware of how low my standards were and quickly realized I don’t want my child thinking these kind of relationships are normal and healthy. I want my children to value themselves and I had to set that example. As a believer I thought I had to be friends with everyone. When in reality boundaries are good and healthy for my family and myself.
When we begin to value ourselves we begin to value who our friends are.
My friends encourage, push, allow me to be vulnerable, and take me as I am through the battles of my grief, and challenges of motherhood. They are my iron sharpen iron and for that I am thankful.
Proverbs 27:17 ”As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
It almost stings when I look in the mirror at how much I’ve physically changed since having children.
I’m looking a a complete different women. Some days I grieve it; some days I nod with pride of the privilege to carry life, twice. The women with more squish to her, permanent dark rings under her eyes, way less hair, hair that has darkened and beautiful stretch marks engraved in her legs has a more clear mindset. She walks in a more confident light. Less physically attractive to the world but her character is softer and more beautiful each day as she steps forward into motherhood embracing what truly matters.
I’m excited for this post to be my last for 2021 sharing most of the activities and crafts I did with our children for the whole year.
Please click the links showing how to do them and share!
New Years poppers:
Tissue paper, Glitter glue, Fun things like cut up tissue paper or sequence for popping and toilet paper or paper towel rolls.
New Years party hats:
I took a paper plate and cut right through the middle and made the triangle pieces stand up.
Pipe cleaners. Cute holes in top of oatmeal box.
Puzzle pieces Valentine canvass: 🌟
This one was tricky! The babies painted the puzzles then I traced a heart and hot glued them. Each babydid their own color.
Pepper clover stamps:
Take a real Pepper and cut it up, then use it like a stamp with green paint.
Baby hand prints by Logan and cotton ball color matching by Jason.
Shaving cream Easter egg dying with babies:
Use a ziplock it’s seriously my best friend when I want to include baby brother or don’t want a crazy mess.
Shaving cream, a few drops of food coloring, boiled egg all in the bag. Then I’d take them out to air dry. I did not let my kids eat these.
We grabbed a piece of cardboard and went picking.
Earth day globes: 🌟
Use the back of a cereal box or cardboard to teach about recycling. I love using the back of cereal boxes for many crafts we’ve done. Then I would cut our circles and let them free paint.https://www.instagram.com/reel/CN837pihsQ-/
Mother’s Day flower dye gift:🌟
This one was so cool! He got to use a medicine syringe to dye white flowers for my gift. I used water and paint and he had the fun!
Poker chip drop:🌟
This one is one of my favorites cuz of how long it has lasted and how strong it is. I cut a slot of a pretzel container and let them drop the chips in for fun. Like I said before I like using things around the house if I can.https://www.instagram.com/reel/CO6qR1OBt25/
Cut and paste Sun: 🌟
I still can’t believe he’s only two in this video. He loves cutting. This one was so fun to make!
I’m doing the video right on a bed. So the ziplock did not work well for this. It’s best to dip myself and let them sprinkle. I did a few in the ziplock so our youngest could feel included. We made these for Christmas too. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CQ4wCb4jSo1/
We did this outside or it’s great in our farm house sink on rainy days. We used baking soda over a color of dye and Jason spray warm water to reveal the color. It’s fun to add vinegar too to have it fizz. I like this one for learn about colors or seeing what the primary colors make. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CRkkdazh95N/
This one I am crazy about! I have been wanting to making these for years and finally got to do them this summer. I thought they’d be a fun addition to a sensory bin and the kids can dig them and match them with the dinosaurs. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CSzv9yyhOI7/
My favorite part about these is looking back is seeing how much fun our boys have. They love it as much as I do. The ones with stars are ones I’ve thought up myself and the others are full credit to Pinterest. HappyCrafting!
I want to talk about all the fun things and happy things when I start writing these letters. But this year was not one of those years. We were filled with challenges that we did not ever think we would face. Starting with losing our sister in law unexpectedly in the Spring, and ending the year with losing my grandma in the fall.
The summer was filled with stressors of Peter on an awkward work schedule that did not work well for our family and not having water in the kitchen most of the Summer due to our kitchen project. So we would buy it. As I reflect I can still count the blessings of having two healthy boys, my colorstreet group growing, and friendships growing and being formed by a play group that was started over the Summer. Jason started going to a private preschool, and Logan is learning to talk. God has given us these gifts and blessings and we are humbly privileged as we are constantly learning, renewing our minds as raise our sweet boys.
Merry Christmas and blessings to you all,
Peter, Mihaela, Jason (3), and baby Logan (19 months)
If you take different colors of Play-Doh, Label them different emotions and mix them all together That is how I would describe my week. But I would take those pieces and make it into a shape of a heart because despite all the big emotions God is giving me a sense of peace throughout this week and I have still been able to give my kids the best version of myself.
With it being Jason‘s birthday, and my brothers anniversary and combating grief missing my sister-in-law. My friend lost her baby and it hit home for me. And also being excited for my other brother getting married on Halloween. Going through the bitter sweet emotions of my baby turning three and having a very active busy week way more than usual. There was pajama day at school and Jason had show and tell and snack one day and we had to get his cake and balloon. Then we are celebrating Halloween and a few different trunk or treats. So these were added things that we normally don’t do. I’ve definitely been pushed out of my comfort zone. But isn’t it amazing how I can feel all these big emotions and still have peace?
Emotions are crazy and yet even when I’m both grieving and excited I can feel both and with being real with God allowing him in on the tough times to help me to stay focused on giving my babies the gift of a mom staying in tune with them.
I was asked to write down what a mother is. Not who the moms were in my life but to simply define it.
Immediately scripture flooded my mind as I sat to jot down what a Mother is.
She moves in a slow rhythm about her day. She basks in the sound of her children’s laughs, and the feeling of their tiny arms squeezing her around her neck. She embraces her children’s differences and gifts they can carry into the world. She invests beyond their basic needs, dismissing the amount of children there are recognizing her role she took on when she became a mother.
She’s not surviving.
She seeks them figuring out how they operate: their learning styles, their passions, fears, and insecurities. She knows her children. She navigates a lesson so her children can push through, not around the fears and insecurities the world has to offer. She then feeds encouragement into those passions, and desires. She ignites purpose in their hearts.
Her character is watched by her audience as she reacts to situations and those around her.
She practices the fruits of the spirit being filled with love, joy, peace, patience and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23
She imitates her maker. Philippians 2:1-5
She practices the meaning of love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “
When she does fail she immediately apologizes.
When her children rebel she disciplines but doesn’t punish. She doesn’t punish for mistakes.
She humbly seeks wisdom through scripture, prayer and godly friends in all seasons.
I remember when I first met Laura she was open and genuine. She really wanted to take the time to get to know all of us and build a relationship with all of us before taking the next big step with Jordan. She was the girl Jordan was txting the night before our wedding so I knew this girl was special. She quickly was welcomed with open arms and at almost every family event.
And if you knew her she would have wanted a genuine relationship with you too.
Although she had a hard life, she was still the most genuine, kind, encouraging, and understanding person. Through her struggles she knew the Lord’s strength would get her through hard seasons her and Jordan had faced. She never asked for much because she knew prayer was enough.
To the girl who I want to send the silly pictures of today’s adventure, the one I could always vent to and never be judged.The girl who I prayed for for my brother. The girl who loved him more then anyone I’ve ever known encouraging him to be better and loving him for who he is. What I would give to see you saw this post. What I would give for another sister to sister chat. What I would give to hear her call my boys name over face time. To see her. To hear her laugh. To see my phone go off and her name pop up. She was more then I could ever have asked for in a sister in law.I had the privilege to watch her grow in her faith over these past 5 1/2 years.I had the privilege to call her sister, the auntie to my children and friend.
I just want to txt her silly pictures as if it were yesterday. I miss you and love you sister.