Is It Just A Honeymoon Season?

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Four Powerful Words

Me Monster

When others see Peter give me a kiss or watch us talk things out when there is miscommunication they say things like: 

“Have you even gotten in a real fight?”

“You know you’re only in the ‘honeymoon’ season”.  

    What they don’t understand is how adjusting to married life has been hard for us. Even our dating season was hard. PTSD, setting family boundaries, change of becoming one-flesh, new ministry opportunities, and life circumstances are hard.

The Devil constantly fights to tear our marriage apart by throwing obstacles our way. Why? Because we love the Lord!

    Going into our marriage we knew that life was only going to get harder. By pushing each other in prayer, Bible reading, in ministry projects, and in our personal walks with Christ together…the Kingdom will expand.  

    As the years go by I only hope to love Peter more than on our wedding day. And I can! Staying in prayer and in fellowship with Christ makes that possible. Marriage is another testimony for the world to see. Some might think their walk with Christ is done and the other person can finish it because they are one-flesh. They are forgetting teamwork and are putting their identity in the other person. Marriage is one-flesh, but there are two people in it. Two people who both need Christ as much as the other. Honeymoon season doesn’t have to be just a season. It can become a way of life. If others see us trying to go through our marriage without Christ being our center then disaster will be all they see. 

   These past few months have been very hard, but as a couple we are growing stronger in Him every day. Sometimes I feel like we go one step forward and twenty steps back. When I get caught up in the twenty steps back I forget that those twenty steps back might actually be us moving forward. It might just not feel that way.

If you were encouraged by this feel free to share.

 

Our Dream Wedding

    Looking back at my wedding day I would only do a few things differently, but in the end it looked perfect. Who says you cant have your dream wedding? After hearing about how Peter and I saved and put things together, friends asked me to do a writing on it. Here is some advice for newly weds who can have their dream wedding and not go bank rupt.

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    When you begin your planning start off with a budget and STICK WITH IT. I kept receipts and marked it in a book. It’s very easy to loose track when you see all the possiblities for your theme. This is where pinterest came in handy for us. I made a board, then we looked at what we could afford. Weddings bring people together we asked people for help. Most of our decorations were from friends who knew our taste. Having the pinterest board as their guide helped us save money and have it come to life. I learned I had to look online before going into stores if I really wanted to save. Everything online is cheaper.  Ask yourselves where you really want to put your money. We put ours into the photographers knowing the pictures are what make the day last.

    Many people forget that a wedding is just one day of their lives. After spending way more than they could afford they dont have enough for a honeymoon. Weddings are a big deal but I can tell you no one remembers our cute ribbon on our bubbles for send away, or the fact that we used lace table cloth instead of silk. They only remember us.

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    We decided on an afternoon wedding so we could do wedding pictures in the morning and not have people wait for us. This also made food easy and cheap. We did fruit cobobs and chicken cobobs. Most weddings money goes toward food. We figured people would eat lunch then come and not be looking for a meal.

    Just remember it’s your day and you are not trying to please everyone. The people who are in the bridal party should be the people who are going to be with you every step of the way through the planning. I could not ask for better bridesmaids. They went with the flow even when it got chaotic and never complained. They were always checking in on me and making sure I was keeping my cool. I dont beleive brides get the option to be brideszilla. People are helping you and dont have to. Many brides forget that.

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My Girls

    Things did go wrong for our big day. In fact a lot of things went wrong. They will. It’s a wedding and things happen. That is why it is good to have a hundred dollars from your wedding budget set aside in case something happens. Just remember you will be married and thats what counts. Happy wedding planning!

Our wedding costed 3,138 inluding recption and pictures our budget was 4,000

Here’s a small chart of our planning.

Dress: 10$ (I was looking for any white lace dress) (stayed out of bridal stores)

Two wedding photographers: X amount

Cake free: (friend)

send off car free: (our car)

hair:free (family)

nails:free (friend)

make up:free (friend)

engagement photos: $250 (friends)

Food: $190 (costco)

Flowers: $105 (seattle farmers market)

Venue/reception: free (friends back yard)

DJ: free (friend)

Invites: $300 (pinterest)

Decorations: about $200 (this includesplates/cups/balloons/prorgams/ ect.)

Things we changed….

send off car-ours broke down the night before the wedding so we used mine.

venue/reception- was originally at a park.

gazebo- we had our friends make and Arch

Read On :

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/05/10/going-to-the-chapel/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/06/29/four-powerful-words/

 

True Love waits…and waits…and waits…..

Photo credit: Zach Ricks
Photo credit: Zach Ricks

A lot of you who know me may be wondering why my Facebook profile has a picture of Peter and me kissing when I always say, “kissing looks gross.” There’s a small part of mine and Peter’s story we kept for our family, close friends and ourselves.

We didn’t kiss on the lips until the morning of our wedding.  

 When we set the standard of not kissing, boundaries became harder. We were allowed to kiss on the cheek and hand but there were times we decided to not even do that. We struggled along the way.  

Some may say we were too extreme but…

fighting to love each other the right way is not extreme.

Because of our broken pasts The Scariest Road we had to be, so-called ‘extreme.’ Had we kissed before our wedding it wouldn’t of been sinning. We would’ve just been falling short of goals we set and therefore making the other less important than our selfish desires. 

    We continue to thank God for our victories. Now that we are married we are more aware of the physical and emotional connection kissing has. The idea of kissing someone besides my husband is foreign and wrong.

I write this to encourage those who are fighting for a healthy relationship centered in Christ. You can do it. So don’t stop fighting for it.

https://www.bloglovin.com/people/hylaechols-17002353

Four Powerful Words

looking at peter

Companionship

Partnership

Children

Tending (the earth)

    These four words are the words that are going to make our marriage work. They are our reasons for our mission: marriage. There is a  power behind each word reminding us to die to ourselves and glorify God every day for the rest of our lives.

Let us define them….

Companionship:
The romantic part of our relationship that can not die out. If within our marriage we let romance die….we become slaves to a piece of paper and a ring. We glorify God when romance blossoms and grows.

Partnership:
Teamwork that is vital. We are partners with God to accomplish the things He has set out before us. Without God effective partnership between us could not exist.

Children:
As future parents we have an opportunity to pour Biblical wisdom, show Christ’s love, and be Godly examples for our children. By doing this they too will learn to love Him. 

Tending (the earth):
This really is another phrase for nurturing our mission of marriage. 

    Marriage is the front line of the spiritual battled field. There is nothing like two people coming together and loving each other like Christ. Satan hates it.
As soon as we were engaged the battles were all around for Peter and me. Our patience and self control were being tested more so than when we started dating. I honestly thought that it wouldn’t be harder but when we say we are committed to each other and Christ it is harder.
My engagement ring broke the week he was leaving for Malawi. The week before that, my car was hit in the parking lot while his car was having problems too. Two weeks before the wedding both of our cars died and I didn’t have a phone.
All the little things kept getting under my skin. Old insecurities from my past were arising. We were in spiritual warfare.  Although o
ur eyes were up and our prayers were constant there were many times we wanted to take the “easy route”. But what seemed easy in the moment would only hurt us in the long run.
We have the choice to fight for our mission. Fighting for God’s glory is love. This is what we have been learning, applying, and treasuring for our marriage. 

Written by: Peter & Mihaela

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/06/24/my-retreat/

My Retreat

 

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us
an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal.”

“Malawi…Peter is in Malawi” I answer when everyone asks where he is.

    He is gone for a month.

    The first night away from him I was in a daze. I looked around. No one was there. Amen. No honestly Amen. It doesn’t sound like I miss him, but I do. There are countless times in a day I want to hear his voice or even watch my phone buzz knowing it’s him on the other line. 

    But he is not my everything. God is. 

    This is where God has us right now in our engagement and we are both happy because this month away is only going to make us stronger as a couple. Readers do not miss this part. I am not talking about our distance and lack of communication. I am talking about what we are doing in our month away. He is in Malawi serving missionaries, welding, and serving  the people living there. I am on a retreat! This is our separate season and we are taking advantage of it by serving Christ. I am overwhelmed by how far God is bringing us as a couple and as individuals.  I don’t know the girl I was a year ago. She is a stranger. 

    This retreat has been awakening to what God is doing in my heart. I have been able to catch up with old friends and get started on more ministry projects, and dive into the word. He is preparing me to become a partner, a companion,  a mother, and missionary with Peter. Some areas need more work than others but pardon my progress. When Peter comes back he will be different as well. Both of us stronger in Christ than we were when we said good by for a month. 

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2014/12/12/the-gentlemen/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/05/10/going-to-the-chapel/

 

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https://www.bloglovin.com/people/hylaechols-17002353

Going To The Chapel!

    I have been blessed with the opportunity to love someone and be loved by someone for the rest of my life! Readers do you remember the writing The Gentleman? Well now I am marrying him!

    It seemed like a casual double date with Zach and Jessica. We got food but then split because they were going to “check on the cars” When I was wondering where they went Peter suggusted we could walk on the doc. I saw them behind a van but thought they were just taking their sweet time meeting up with us again. I always walk a head so when I turned around he was down on one knee and asked. It was perfect! I said yes yes yes about a thousand times. 

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    Peter and I met a funeral about three years ago in August. Both of us didn’t know the person who had passed but we were friends with the family of them. In the spring of 2013 Peter being the smooth move criminal he is hit my car and left a huge scrape. That is where it all began. It definitely was not love at first sight for either of us but our friendship started forming by doing favors and hanging out in groups. That Summer ministries were being launched including Project Hope. We were always talking, laughing and keeping each other posted on our running time when we would run. Even in our friendship Peter was always encouraging me, praying for me, and was there whenever I needed help with something. Last Summer when Peters and my friendship grew Peter started liking me. I of course, being afraid of someone as amazing as him possibly even looking in my direction, ran for the hills. He was patient with me, gave me my space, and was of course a gentleman. December 10th was when we were “official” a lot of people were hoping for us to date so when they heard they were ecstatic. 

    Here we are today blessed beyond belief with the opportunity to love each other as Christ loves us, forever.

Four Powerful Words

Your Cup Of Tea

I want to be able to pull this cut off.

    I love tea and do not settle.

    Ladies get your cup of tea and reminisce with me.

    Remember being thirteen making that special list of characteristics you wanted from your future prince charming? Maybe you hid the list or only shared it with your best friends because it was TOP SECRET. This list was pieces of your heart that may still remain true to you today. Every girl has a list whether it be on paper or hidden in her heart.

    There is something sweet and real about a young girl making that special list, if the world hasn’t intoxicated her life yet. There is still an innocence to her and an honesty that most of us lose because we have let the world win with its lies.  Go back up to my question. Do you remember your list?  Sip your tea. Reminisce with me. Now here are the tough questions. Have you lived by that list where your heart may of been the most innocent, and real, or have you settled?

    Sip your tea.

    Is it your favorite kind? Would you wish for another flavor?

    Do you see where I’m am going with this?

    You know what you like. You know you wouldn’t ask for a different kind, you won’t settle.

    Sip.

    Sit.

    Think.

    I am twenty-four years old now and search in my heart for my list. I will not settle. I once told my dad “I would rather die alone then settle.” Imagine with me a girl trying a new flavor of tea knowing she will not like it, but justifies her own choice. She tries it and makes the ick face, pulling it away fast she spills. Maybe the tea is too hot and burns her or it is in fact the flavor? She might try it again being in denial but then soon dumps it out.

Settling for the wrong man is like this cup of tea.

    You and I both know too many women who have tried different tea flavors because the other was “out of stock” or “not in season”. Next thing we know we are grabbing tissues for our friends or for ourselves because the tea has been spilled. What a mess! Settling for the wrong man is like this cup of tea.

     Look at your tea or empty cup. Did you settle? No.

   Look at your past relationships if any. Reminisce with me. The thirteen year old girl is still inside us yearning for that list.

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2014/12/12/the-gentlemen/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/08/27/true-love-waits-and-waits-and-waits/

I Will Always Love My Ex

*****For those who have gone through heart break*****

    This isn’t the I’ll never let go of my ex love. No, this is sacrificial love. Giving up my desires good or bad for his well being.

    “I will always love my ex” some of you are probably are thinking
Mihaela has officially gone off the deep end.

    Yes, we broke up, yes, it was an unhealthy relationship (The Scariest Road, TheTestimony Guitar) and yes, I had to refind my identity in Christ again.
Through being restored in Christ I have learned how to love him in the best way. Letting him go was the best thing I could do for both of us. I was pulling him away from Christ due to the poison aloud in the relationship.

    As God was forming my heart and still is, many of my writings were formed over the Summer. I was also staying in contact with a friend who had recently gone through a similar situation, through it we would keep each other posted on the new things God was teaching us and how he was working on restoring our hearts.

Friend :Are you doing ok, still working on healing?

Me: oh yeah! man I’ve gotten really funny since ****** like I’ve been quick and witty and I keep singing all the time. My healing process has been slow as it should be but i have become more confident in where my identity is now that I am putting in Christ

(Her Identity)

I would be remembering a lived nightmare every time I woke up in the
morning for months on end. I had to grieve.

Friend: Do you…have a hard time letting parts of your relationship go?
Do you still struggle with hurt, anger, guilt?
Does it occupy your mind way more than you thought it would?

Me: I know that ******will always be apart of me but he doesn’t consume my mind anymore.
He did a lot for a while. after the past few months id do good then be haunted again. but hitting
my 6months and looking back God has gotten me soooooo incredibly far. That still doesn’t mean
the hauntings will just disappear no! But now I can say shoot I’m not that girl anymore.
She is dead and alive in Christ. You see 6 months and 2 days ago i decided to come back to the heart of worship.
breaking my own heart because I realized I was breaking Gods.

My heart started to feel victory in Christ remembering that I do not have to
let memories anchor my daily life and my future. Memories are a thing
in the past.

Me: I feel strong when I’m around him. Like he cant hurt me because i wont let him. God has definitely dried this girls tears from him, and I’m sure there are more to come. But I know God will dry those up too. I’m not dating for a while. I don’t want to just take a guy cuz hes there so I’m giving myself time. Plus God and I are on a role! I’ve been praying a lot more, diving into ministry, and staying in the word.

    Readers I share this because I know what its like to live in sin (scariest road) and not want to face the ugly girl in the mirror. I know what it’s like to know Gods grace is not deserved.

    “Maybe you cant forgive yourself but he cross is enough.” – friend

    God had forgiven me. I had to learn to forgive my ex.

Romans 6:11 “In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”

    God loves me. I had to love my ex.

John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

    Through prayer, staying in the word God will wipe away
our grieving tears into tears of joy.

    Nothing is too big for God. He is holding you.

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2014/03/21/the-scariest-road/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/01/11/the-testimony-guitar/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2014/04/25/goodwill-boys/

The Testimony Guitar

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imagejpeg_2 (1) new guitar

      

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    The idea of learning how to play guitar was always on the back of my mind, but I never started until I was 23. Until I had time and money. Did I say money? Who has money at 23? This is why I teach myself. What inspired me to actually buckle down and learn guitar was the ending of an unhealthy relationship. I was learning how to cope from the unhealthiness and the break up itself. Since in the relationship the lucky guy and I were talking about getting married the guitar is covered in flowers, wedding things, lace, and Bible verses that have helped me through hard times through out my life. The yellow rose on the neck of the guitar is my favorite flower. My hope is that people do ask about the verses and pictures so I can share pieces of my testimony and let God do the rest.

     Here are a few of the verses:

    John 14:18 is my life verse referring to the writing,
The Hardest Story to tell.

    1 Kings 18 is my favorite Bible story which is also referred in a
previous writing, Fire.

    Philippians 3:12-14 this verse reminds
us to not let the past dim the light of our testimony. The Scariest
Road, and the Christian Crutches
writings opens the minds of readers into the meaning of my guitar.

    2 Corinthians 4:16-18 is a verse close to Philippians 3 reminding
us what truly is important and who should be our main focus: Christ.

    1 Peter 1:8 is where I have learned to put not only my joy but also my identity in this truth this verse holds.

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2014/03/21/the-scariest-road/

The Gentlemen

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He initiates, I run. 

He waits, I waver. 

He waits, I play.

He waits, I take a step back. 

He waits, I play.

He waits. 

Will this too much playing make him leave me for sure?

He steps back. Sparks fly.

He waits. Has he given up or is he a gentlemen who knows he’s in love?

    I’m starting a new ministry! I just cant seem to get enough of it. It’s called in a relationship with Peter Echols. So sorry, but it will be only the three of us. Did I say three? Yes, I was not mistaken. Three of us: God and then us. What I’m looking forward to most about this new ministry is learning how to treat him with respect and all the other ministry projects we will be helping with. If you have read The Scariest Road and Goodwill boys you will see why I emphasize treating him with respect. God has brought both of us so far already in singleness and we both have agreed to respect each other and encourage each other in our walks with Christ. 

    The writing above in red is about us these past months. I was unsure, and afraid, but now that we have entered this next step I am thrilled to see where we will be in these next few months. 

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/06/29/four-powerful-words/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/05/10/going-to-the-chapel/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/our-dream-wedding/