Category: Personal

Is It Just A Honeymoon Season?

Mihaela Echols42 Comments

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—Four Powerful Words—

—Me Monster—

When others see Peter give me a kiss or watch us talk things out when there is miscommunication they say things like: 

“Have you even gotten in a real fight?”

“You know you’re only in the ‘honeymoon’ season”.  

    What they don’t understand is how adjusting to married life has been hard for us. Even our dating season was hard. PTSD, setting family boundaries, change of becoming one-flesh, new ministry opportunities, and life circumstances are hard.

The Devil constantly fights to tear our marriage apart by throwing obstacles our way. Why? Because we love the Lord!

    Going into our marriage we knew that life was only going to get harder. By pushing each other in prayer, Bible reading, in ministry projects, and in our personal walks with Christ together…the Kingdom will expand.  

    As the years go by I only hope to love Peter more than on our wedding day. And I can! Staying in prayer and in fellowship with Christ makes that possible. Marriage is another testimony for the world to see. Some might think their walk with Christ is done and the other person can finish it because they are one-flesh. They are forgetting teamwork and are putting their identity in the other person. Marriage is one-flesh, but there are two people in it. Two people who both need Christ as much as the other. Honeymoon season doesn’t have to be just a season. It can become a way of life. If others see us trying to go through our marriage without Christ being our center then disaster will be all they see. 

   These past few months have been very hard, but as a couple we are growing stronger in Him every day. Sometimes I feel like we go one step forward and twenty steps back. When I get caught up in the twenty steps back I forget that those twenty steps back might actually be us moving forward. It might just not feel that way.

If you were encouraged by this feel free to share.

 

Name Change

Mihaela Echols6 Comments

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I am happy with this change but it has been confusing, and I know it will take time.

“Ma’am what is your name?” The person over the phone asks as I prepare for a women’s retreat.

I froze.

“Mihaela…aaahh”

In that moment I had no idea what to say. Being a newlywed for a few weeks I am still getting used to our identity and who I am to Peter. Who I am now.

I finally got the last name out. “Echols”

“Thank you ma’am and your email.”

“Yeah aaah Cham-ber-lain” I begin slowly

I had no idea how to answer these simple questions. I had to sit down after getting off the phone. I wonder this question as I learn my new identity as a wife Is this what it’s like when you are adopted as and older child? Do their minds spin as they answer the same simple question ‘What is your name?’. Do they stare at the new last or first name after they write it down for as long as I do? 

Her Identity

Identity Crisis 

Identity Crisis

Mihaela Echols13 Comments
Me and my dad. Year of my adoption.
Me and my dad. Year of my adoption.

    I opened an envelope written in Romanian.

Silvia reads the letter. “It’s from your birth family. Wait this guy claims to be your dad.”

    I stand silent. 

She asks if I want to see him on the CD. 

“Yes.”

    It wasn’t the I’m craving the empty void inside me kind of ‘yes’ some of us adopted children have when we yearn for our birth families even if we don’t know them. It was a sure why not? Kind of ‘yes’. 

    You see I once was bonded to my birth mom for nine months in her whom, but that was it. For so long I bound myself in curiosity letting thoughts stir of who the mystery birth-dad was. I even yearned to hear my birth mom’s voice, and feel her embrace. Some babies die and some hurt forever, because those nine months of sharing an identity  with a birth-mom is so important. That is why so many babies are traumatized when they are taken away from birth mothers. 

But when this guy marched back into my life twenty-one years later “Hi I’m your dad” in a letter all I could think was….

Are you though? You were never there when I needed you most. My dad was. In fact you might think you are my dad because I’m of your blood, but you’re not. I have a dad. But most importantly I have a heavenly father. 

Romans 8:15 “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

I do not hate this man for not doing what he should have done, be a dad. I just want to know why now…twenty-one years later…

Read on :

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/02/27/blood-doesnt-mean-everything/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/04/25/my-fantasy-birth-mom/

True Love waits…and waits…and waits…..

Mihaela Echols26 Comments
Photo credit: Zach Ricks
Photo credit: Zach Ricks

A lot of you who know me may be wondering why my Facebook profile has a picture of Peter and me kissing when I always say, “kissing looks gross.” There’s a small part of mine and Peter’s story we kept for our family, close friends and ourselves.

We didn’t kiss on the lips until the morning of our wedding.  

 When we set the standard of not kissing, boundaries became harder. We were allowed to kiss on the cheek and hand but there were times we decided to not even do that. We struggled along the way.  

Some may say we were too extreme but…

fighting to love each other the right way is not extreme.

Because of our broken pasts The Scariest Road we had to be, so-called ‘extreme.’ Had we kissed before our wedding it wouldn’t of been sinning. We would’ve just been falling short of goals we set and therefore making the other less important than our selfish desires. 

    We continue to thank God for our victories. Now that we are married we are more aware of the physical and emotional connection kissing has. The idea of kissing someone besides my husband is foreign and wrong.

I write this to encourage those who are fighting for a healthy relationship centered in Christ. You can do it. So don’t stop fighting for it.

https://www.bloglovin.com/people/hylaechols-17002353

Four Powerful Words

Mihaela Echols27 Comments

looking at peter

Companionship

Partnership

Children

Tending (the earth)

    These four words are the words that are going to make our marriage work. They are our reasons for our mission: marriage. There is a  power behind each word reminding us to die to ourselves and glorify God every day for the rest of our lives.

Let us define them….

Companionship:
The romantic part of our relationship that can not die out. If within our marriage we let romance die….we become slaves to a piece of paper and a ring. We glorify God when romance blossoms and grows.

Partnership:
Teamwork that is vital. We are partners with God to accomplish the things He has set out before us. Without God effective partnership between us could not exist.

Children:
As future parents we have an opportunity to pour Biblical wisdom, show Christ’s love, and be Godly examples for our children. By doing this they too will learn to love Him. 

Tending (the earth):
This really is another phrase for nurturing our mission of marriage. 

    Marriage is the front line of the spiritual battled field. There is nothing like two people coming together and loving each other like Christ. Satan hates it.
As soon as we were engaged the battles were all around for Peter and me. Our patience and self control were being tested more so than when we started dating. I honestly thought that it wouldn’t be harder but when we say we are committed to each other and Christ it is harder.
My engagement ring broke the week he was leaving for Malawi. The week before that, my car was hit in the parking lot while his car was having problems too. Two weeks before the wedding both of our cars died and I didn’t have a phone.
All the little things kept getting under my skin. Old insecurities from my past were arising. We were in spiritual warfare.  Although our eyes were up and our prayers were constant there were many times we wanted to take the “easy route”. But what seemed easy in the moment would only hurt us in the long run.
We have the choice to fight for our mission. Fighting for God’s glory is love. This is what we have been learning, applying, and treasuring for our marriage. 

Written by: Peter & Mihaela

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/06/24/my-retreat/

My Retreat

Mihaela Echols21 Comments

 

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
“Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us
an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal.”

“Malawi…Peter is in Malawi” I answer when everyone asks where he is.

    He is gone for a month.

    The first night away from him I was in a daze. I looked around. No one was there. Amen. No honestly Amen. It doesn’t sound like I miss him, but I do. There are countless times in a day I want to hear his voice or even watch my phone buzz knowing it’s him on the other line. 

    But he is not my everything. God is. 

    This is where God has us right now in our engagement and we are both happy because this month away is only going to make us stronger as a couple. Readers do not miss this part. I am not talking about our distance and lack of communication. I am talking about what we are doing in our month away. He is in Malawi serving missionaries, welding, and serving  the people living there. I am on a retreat! This is our separate season and we are taking advantage of it by serving Christ. I am overwhelmed by how far God is bringing us as a couple and as individuals.  I don’t know the girl I was a year ago. She is a stranger. 

    This retreat has been awakening to what God is doing in my heart. I have been able to catch up with old friends and get started on more ministry projects, and dive into the word. He is preparing me to become a partner, a companion,  a mother, and missionary with Peter. Some areas need more work than others but pardon my progress. When Peter comes back he will be different as well. Both of us stronger in Christ than we were when we said good by for a month. 

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2014/12/12/the-gentlemen/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/05/10/going-to-the-chapel/

 

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https://www.bloglovin.com/people/hylaechols-17002353

The Little Girl Inside

Mihaela Echols27 Comments

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    ” Mihaela, dad wants to talk to you” I begin to sweat.  It was Trevor’s fault. My twenty-four year old self kept repeating the same sentence in my head as I was approaching my dad. I was nervous. Even though it has been years since Trevor and I had been blaming each other for things the little girl inside me thinks, if it’s bad then it’s his fault.

    This Summer I am getting married. But I can still say the little girl inside me is not dead in fact she is just growing. Her last name, her lifestyle, her home,  and her family will change. But not her siblings, her desires, and her God. You see, she is still in me. The changes are not going to change her heart they will conform to her. 

    Peter will be my desire, my home, my family. He is an addition for my siblings and for my walk with Christ. The little girl who knows herself best Your Cup Of Tea listened to her heart and chose the change because she knew her God and her desires. 

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/05/10/going-to-the-chapel/

Not This Time Satan

Mihaela EcholsLeave a comment

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    An hour is all I get to show my Sunday school children God’s love, teach them truth, and life skills. It is still not enough, but this past week showed me its still impacting. 

     The weight of the responsibility of not only being intrusted with pieces of parents hearts but guiding them toward Christ was and still is a fear of mine. What if we they don’t remember what I taught them last week? What if I am teaching them the wrong thing? What if they don’t like me? The fears grew each week for months.

Fear has the power to paralyze. 

    But God is stretching me, and forming  me especially in my new challenges. The past two weeks of being gone has brought tears to my eyes. I have realized how passionate I am about being apart of children’s walk with Christ and am amazed by my helpers and subs. I came back to children who were open to me. It amazes me how they trust us. But what really will always have a hold of my heart was last week’s lesson. The burden and fears were arrissing in me as I was talking about how Jesus died for all our sins. So badly Satan wanted me to give up because I was sharing the most powerful lesson of a life time. But not this time Satan. I continued.

Our lesson: 

    I asked them to get their hands in the dirt, happily  they did. Then we talked about sin. “Sin is what makes God sad.” -Lilly. We talked about what makes God sad. 

    I asked them to make a line. They did. I spoke with each child about how God washed our sins away on the cross just like how I am washing their hands.

    When we were making sin hearts and clean hearts I was overwhelmed! When a child is making sad faces on her flower sticker because it’s on the sin heart and happy faces on the clean  heart I am in awe. What we are teaching them each week is making a difference. THIS IS WHY I TEACH SUNDAY SCHOOL! I am taking no credit. Parents way to go! Keep reading those Bible stories and speaking truth into their lives. I have seen so much growth in my helpers and my preschoolers these past few weeks and am thrilled to see where God is going to take us.

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/05/27/the-hidden-gifts/

The Hidden Gifts

Mihaela Echols23 Comments

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Autism research story. SIU students in Behavioral Analysis and Therapy and Communications Disorders work with children with autism problems in their laboratories. Only the names of the SIU students appear in the caption info. L to r: Kelli Tande, graduate student in Behavioral Analysis and Therapy, works with a four-year-old who doesn't speak. Using rewards that the child can choose (videos, snacks, etc.) they work on a repetitive pattern to develop the speech process.

    Have you ever wondered if what it would be like to impact someone’s life in a miraculous way for a living? 

    To know because of your work someone’s life is being impacted for the better?

    Every day when I walk into the Miles Autism Resource Center for the past year I have become more stronger and more aware as a person. When I am working with the children I know they are also teaching me. 

    Each child has a gift that they are unaware of and our job is to show them just that. Some do not talk and leave speaking in full sentences. Some do not know to that a car rolls down a ramp, a ball bounces, and trampolines are to jump on. We show them how. The ones who can’t read, learn to read, write and spell. These children leave completely transformed all because some said “I will impact a child.”

   As rosey as that all sounds there is a battle inside each child called Autism. Our job is to know how we can crack the code and know how to reach them. There is a life long commitment beyond just parenting for the parents and we are there to help. We will not give up. Some of them refuse to learn something new but we stick with them the whole way. If it takes thirty minutes for a child to sign cracker for a cracker then we are doing it right. Why? Because  they now know we are not giving up on them by just giving them the cracker. Another battle won, communication. As silly as that sounds it’s real. Showing them the gifts they have by fighting every battle is worth it. The littles battles are the gateways of helping these children become transformed. 

Knowing I am impacting a child for a living has impacted me.

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/03/13/what-drives-you/

Going To The Chapel!

Mihaela Echols24 Comments

    I have been blessed with the opportunity to love someone and be loved by someone for the rest of my life! Readers do you remember the writing The Gentleman? Well now I am marrying him!

    It seemed like a casual double date with Zach and Jessica. We got food but then split because they were going to “check on the cars” When I was wondering where they went Peter suggusted we could walk on the doc. I saw them behind a van but thought they were just taking their sweet time meeting up with us again. I always walk a head so when I turned around he was down on one knee and asked. It was perfect! I said yes yes yes about a thousand times. 

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    Peter and I met a funeral about three years ago in August. Both of us didn’t know the person who had passed but we were friends with the family of them. In the spring of 2013 Peter being the smooth move criminal he is hit my car and left a huge scrape. That is where it all began. It definitely was not love at first sight for either of us but our friendship started forming by doing favors and hanging out in groups. That Summer ministries were being launched including Project Hope. We were always talking, laughing and keeping each other posted on our running time when we would run. Even in our friendship Peter was always encouraging me, praying for me, and was there whenever I needed help with something. Last Summer when Peters and my friendship grew Peter started liking me. I of course, being afraid of someone as amazing as him possibly even looking in my direction, ran for the hills. He was patient with me, gave me my space, and was of course a gentleman. December 10th was when we were “official” a lot of people were hoping for us to date so when they heard they were ecstatic. 

    Here we are today blessed beyond belief with the opportunity to love each other as Christ loves us, forever.

Four Powerful Words