A Letter To The Indifferent

Dear Picky Adopters,

    I don’t think you are aware of the things your are saying when you say things like: “There are enough children in the U.S.  who need homes. Other children do not need to be adopted.”

    Whenever I hear this I always remind people I am Romanian. They soon get uncomfortable and say “Well it is true.” Yes it is, but let me speak on the behalf of my fellow adoptees who are from international adoptions, because just like them, I am sick of hearing those comments. 

    A child cannot help where they were born. They are innocent beings who just want to be loved. Step out of yourself and imagine yourself with a different skin, hair, or eye color from what you have now. Should you be loved less or forgotten? Walk a mile in our shoes.

Children are children.

Hurt is hurt.

Pain is real.

    Why then do you say those things?

    Who are you to pick and choose the life of a hurting child? Saying things like “Oh boy another immigrant.” or “U.S children need homes too.” is like saying a hurting child doesn’t need a home.  Look into the eyes of the child in the picture. This child has feelings, a past, a future and a story just like you. I hope now after reading this you understand more as to why those words are so hurtful.

-The International Adoptee

P.S Forward this to those who do not understand what they are saying is unfair to an innocent child.



30 thoughts on “A Letter To The Indifferent

  1. I wrote this in response to the same questions. Maybe it will help to deflect some of them.

    Hang in there — it’s hard when people ask the same stupid questions over and over.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think we all need to follow where God leads. For some our children are next door, some children will be found around the world. If everyone was supposed to be the same, do the same things, have the same gifts, God would have made us that way. Our adopted daughter was found a few hours away from where we lived at the time, but she was meant to be ours. I have no doubt. I explored Romania and Russia but the requirements were prohibitive for us at the time. I think we need to accept that we are all called to adopt differently: within the family, through an agency, from foster care, a grandchild, around the globe. God calls us all His, we can certainly do the same.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. All kids no matter what their background deserve a better life. I think the children overseas need to be looked at first if you are willing. The children in the United States have a department that protects their well being and yes they do have issues with crowding but they are being taken care of. The poor children overseas have no advocate for them. Bless you for making a difference.


  4. Such a true post. Children are children no matter what. I’ve always wanted to adopt and have always had a heart for children from other countries. Not to say I don’t care and love the children in the US without a home, but all orphans deserve a home not just the ones in the US and not just the ones in other countries. Thank you for sharing your heart!


  5. Thank you for shedding wisdom on something obviously tender for you, and yet something I probably have never thought about. We only know what we know until someone else is brave enough to let us in to their tender places. So thank you for your courage and grace!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Adoption is a difficult decision for a mother. Her love for her child and her child’s well-being is one of selflessness. A mother who chooses adoption for her child is PLACING her child in what she believes is a safe and loving environment. I don’t like the phrase ‘giving away’. A child is placed in the loving arms of another family and must trust that she has made the right decision. Adopted children are special, chosen, and very much loved.


  7. Amen. We have adopted two children through foster care (Both born in the US, in my state.) but I also have a huge heart for overseas adoption. So many children needing love, regardless of where they were born.


  8. It’s strange how many people have rude comments related to private family things. I get comments that have left me speechless just carrying my own children. God give us grace! When people make ignorant, stupid, selfish comments may we take a deep breath and correct them in a godly manner. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  9. All of the children were a precious gift to us! Even us started as a kid and we know how seriously things can get hurt us! Everyone needs a home! neds to be love! So I agree on you on how they managed to say those things and to be picky! -.-


  10. I don’t get why there are picky adopters. If they really want kids, why should they be picky when it comes to giving a child the love that he or she deserves. This is such a heartfelt letter.


  11. Such a beautiful post. I very much agree that Children are Children anytime and all they need is love, care & support. Unfortunately many people don’t understand how their comments could hurt someone which cant be cured so easily!


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