The Most Awkward Question People Ask Us

When we tell people we want to adopt someday and we are doing foster care I am usually not shocked at the ignorance of their comments. But this one caught me off guard. Being adopted and in an only adopted family I thought I have heard it all. But I have learned being on the other side as the adopter you get it too. According to these people children who are adopted or in foster care are seen as less because they aren’t growing in my tummy. They ask us…

 “Why don’t you want your own children?”

Adopters I’m sure you’re mind is spinning and blood is boiling with righteous anger with this question. As we begin our journey I am still learning how to tackle the question when it hits. Because as an adoptee I’m hearing your life doesn’t have value. I find this kind of thinking petty for us who do not get to pick the life we are born into.  

So how am I to respond in these situations? Firmly but with grace. I need to bring it back to God. So many have forgotten that when we choose Christ he is adopting us into his family. 

Ephesians 1:5 In love “he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.  

I can assure I am not in the line of David nor am I Jewish. When believers ask us the question why don’t we want our own children, they have forgotten what Christ has done  for them as well. Jew or Gentile he wants us not by his blood line but through adoption. 


Mama birds what is the most awkward you have been asked?


12 thoughts on “The Most Awkward Question People Ask Us

  1. I try to hear what they are really asking because I don’t believe that most people are intentionally trying to be rude or to hurt you.
    That’s just me.


    1. I agree! My little one has Autism and so I read a lot of blogs. Some blogs out there talk about none spectrum parents and the things they say like “Are they high functional” or the dreaded “I am sorry.” There are so many other examples but I don’t know these are the least things that bother me. I agree with you. They are trying to be genuine. I just always try to look to the good of people.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “Is he/she a drug baby?” No, in fact, he/she is a beautiful, perfect child of God. There is no such thing as a drug baby. There are innocent, beautiful, perfect babies that were exposed to drugs by no fault of their own, but that is the private information of the family alone. Please say, “Congratulations! He/she is truly a gift”.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We have 3 biological, and a pursuing adoption through foster care. What has amazed me is the criticism of why we would want to bring that trauma into our home. I think they think I am being naive because I am an optimistic person. But it has been incredibly hurtful.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m so sorry you have to put up with ignorant questions like that. Yes we do need lots of grace and lots of Jesus for certain people lol. I do love how you brought up the point that we are all adopted into the family of Christ!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m still single in my mid-thirty. I don’t know if I’ll get married or have children of my own. It’s all in God’s hands. I am not worry about my biological clock. Should I ever feel the strong desire to take care of another human being, I will go for the adoption path without any hesitation. I know I am capable of loving a baby even though he/she is not my own blood. I think I will even love the baby even more because I don’t have to go through the physical, hormonal changes, pain & discomfort related to pregnancy and child birth…😊

    Liked by 1 person

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