I was both surprised and proud when my friend told me how my son stood up for her son at the pool the other day. I often wonder if my children see they are worth standing up for, that they have a powerful voice, and if I’m encouraging them enough. That day my son saw value in his friends hard work that this girl ruined, and spoke up for him. My son was fearless. He was thoughtful. He was being a good friend.

It really opened my eyes at how powerful the voice of parents are to our children. Children are what we tell them they are. With Peter and my voices silenced and dismissed at such young ages, this was powerful for our healing journey. This is the fruit of our labor. This is the reflection of how our child sees himself and other people. Worth standing up for. His voice matters and it’s not because we told him once. It’s because he is included in conversation and we value his opinion on things.

Being a once jaded mom and having to learn to speak softly and with words that bring healing and confidence to my children I am thankful see my child with out a doubt did the right thing. He didn’t second guess. He didn’t lash out. He simply said “That is not ok and you need to be kind and say sorry.”

This is my hope for all children. The ones who aren’t stood up for will some day learn they too matter. The children who are standing up with confidence that it never runs dry.

My children are wrapping up their first year playing T-ball being on the same team and it’s been so amazing watching them play. Even in all of the excitement Peter and I have noticed the competition and different approaches to sports as parents. It took me by surprise considering the ages and the program we chose to put them in. We know as we continue this journey our core values will come in conflict with sports.

It all started with giving our children a lot of options and exposure to different sports in our backyard for about a year and we noticed them leaning toward baseball the most. So we went for it! With baseball being more hands on, we thought it was perfect for their ages. Their coach asked if we wanted to keep them in baseball down the road. We said ‘as long as they’d like to be’. When it comes to their interests or activities they get to decide. Their hobbies or interests are about our boys, not us. I didn’t see myself as a mom in the backyard pitching a ball to my boys and having them practice running bases. But here we are! Another unpopular approach Peter and I take with baseball is the time it takes up in our schedule. As much as we want to lean in our children’s interest we don’t fill our calendar with their activities. Before signing them up we see how realistic the hours, locations and days it will take up. If it overlaps with Church they will have to miss. Even amongst fellow believers this is a hard balance. I always remind myself when I come in conflict with this unpopular opinion.

My children will be standing before God on judgement day. Not their coach.

As we encourage our children in their activities we hope they too walk away with these truths: this is for them, it’s good to do activities that bring them joy, and balance is important.

Let our words be flowers to the moms who are in the swings of the hard parts motherhood brings. The ones who have hard pregnancies. The moms who had to fight to even gain the title mom. The moms who are sleep deprived to the point where their eyes sting most days. The moms who are learning boundaries with friends and family. The potty training and gently being consistent in discipline, and most of all the moms who are doing all this while tending to childhood wounds. The moms who are reliving and learning to clean their wounds so they don’t spill over to their loved ones. Their hearts are tender, because they too want to be good moms and didn’t have a clear compass. Their minds are learning to shift and speak gently to themselves as they do to their children. They are unlearning and doing motherhood for the first time. The only difference is they came into it hurting, and are finding pain they didn’t know existed. If no one is encouraging you in the thick of it right now I’m here to say God sees your work. He entrusted you with your child and with his strength you can have victory over the wounds that keep hitting the surfaces.

We arrived safely to our new home November seventh and we are so thankful for how smooth everything went. We decided to make the most of this trip and turn it into a family vacation along the way. We had a system planned out making the trip as smooth as it could be.

Each day I had a little something new for the kids. They got new sticker books and activity books and they would get them in the mornings after checking out of the hotels. After our afternoon stop we’d let them watch a movie. For our stays we pre booked and pre planned making sure each place would have a pool and breakfast. 

For food we stopped at restaurants for lunch and whatever they didn’t eat we reheated in the microwave for dinner. I had hotdogs and apples and things in my on the go cooler for dinners in case they ate most of their lunches.  At each Restaurant we would do potty breaks and tidy up the car a little bit with toys they have dropped along the way.

Peter and I had a game plan. Depending on when we would check into hotels. Some nights we would let the kids go swimming. For mornings we would do breakfast there then go back and start loading up the car. I would fill mine and the kids water bottles with fresh water. The nights before I would lay out mine and the kids clothes so we could collect our bags faster. I would also reheat food from restaurants for dinner and unload the cold food in the fridge while they would be swimming. 

On the first day we drove straight to Idaho and stopped for gas and had a picnic from food I packed. Then my sister in law got us pizza and we met up at their house to take the kids trick or treating. It was so fun! The hotel was ten minutes from their place and we skipped swimming.

The next day we drove to the first restaurant for lunch and then went to the potato museum. Afterward we headed on the road for a long stretch to Wyoming and the kids got to go swimming that night. Wyoming was beautiful. After checking out the next morning we headed to a beautiful botanic garden and a really nice restaurant for lunch that had the best food and atmosphere for families.

The next day was a longer drive to Colorado and we took a break the day after. We knew with being on the road for a few days we wanted to make sure we were having fun and taking a break in the middle of the trip. We decided to do an adventure day in Denver, Colorado. We did the children’s museum and lunch at the aquarium and the aquarium after lunch. I highly recommend the aquarium. It was amazing! After the adventures we headed to our next hotel that was only an hour away. 

The last stretch to Texas was our driving day we didn’t do much. We just got to our hotel to swim and went to a play ground. We booked a hotel near our new home and stayed there for two nights giving us time to get there in case something happened along the way. The day we moved in was really fun! We went to a play ground then out for lunch at Olive Garden. The kids loved it! Then we unloaded and did leftovers for lunch.

After being here for six weeks we are seeing more each day that this big life change has been a great fit for our family.

We are homeschooling! We officially started in June when Jason finished up preschool at his private school. 

I started in January only doing twice a week dipping my feet in the water helping us get in the routine on Jason’s home days. That way I could figure out the kinks of when we started official full-time homeschool. 

This helped a lot the first week, because both boys knew what to expect. 

Our days for school are very simple. We have our morning routine and then they get an hour of free play that gives me time to work on my morning chores and set up anything for school. Then we meet in the playroom and we do our circle time. In that time we are counting, going over our alphabet, going over the calendar, and reading one story. Then we go into the dining area and do the lesson or sometimes we just do the lesson right on the playroom floor. The lesson usually is a game, something I find on Pinterest, a workbook (they do as many pages as they feel), or they use fun materials like a puzzle. I personally love reusable things. So we don’t have a lot of supplies. The school days are only 30 minutes long. The rest of the day is filled with playing, a play date, or going somewhere. So far I have loved the breathing space that homeschooling has allowed. It also has given me the privilege to be on the front lines of their learning. I love seeing them connect and figure things out.

I originally was on the fence with the idea and thought it over for about six months. There was apart of me that was craving flexibility for our family and not a strict structure. We thrive on routine and flow. I didn’t want our calendar to be over filled and miss connecting with my children. I wanted to be in charge of our calendar. At first I was hesitant as we were figuring out how give our extroverted son the much needed time with friends. Peter said he would bring them to Awana giving them consistency throughout the school year. They could do recreational sports, a co-op and of course play dates. We have taken both our skills and combined them. I am more organized and love figuring out creative ways for them to learn something and Peter is also an extrovert and isn’t too tired to go out at night.

We are doing homeschool year around giving them breaks for when we go on trips and for events so we can keep the routine making it more smooth on all of us. That way we don’t have the feeling of starting over. Instead going with the flow of the next step.

This is the beauty of homeschool. We get to do what works for our family. Live a slower paced intentional life where we can grasp the lessons with our children and grow along side them.

As I walk into this Summer I don’t want it look back on it as something I just filled my calendar with and was exhausted the whole time. I want to look back at this Summer as a time I enjoyed with my children by just playing with them and letting them take the lead. I want room for them to take Summer in in their own way with their simple play.  I want slow days exploring the beaches. The running barefoot in the cool green grass. The sweet taste of fruit and popsicles. The splash of a pool or sprinkler. I want to dig in the dirt with them, pick wildflowers, catch bugs, roast marshmallows, make simple meals so we get more outside time. Summer isn’t meant to be rushed by the beauty it holds. 

It made me sad this morning while holding and rocking my son and singing that my children are the only young children in Church. Young families aren’t attending anymore. The heart of the body of a Christ has lost sight of the urgency of the gospel. 

We sat and sang in clothes we wear every day. Coming as ourselves. 

As I gently work on my boys hearts showing them that following God isn’t about rules, perfectionism, and shame I want them to see the honest beauty God has for them. 

The approach should have always been gentle. When it became a place of guilt, comparison and perfectionism, that’s when I believe the shift of the next generation stopped coming.

When the lifestyle of the generation who worshipped God on Sunday’s, but their actual lifestyle didn’t line up. That is when the next generation stopped coming. 

The Church has become lukewarm and have taken lightly of our Savior. If people are claiming a belief and become inconsistent with their lifestyle then that belief is less appealing for outsiders to seek and hold onto. Again, why the next generation have stopped coming.

The Church has become lukewarm and have taken lightly of our Savior.

James 2:26 “As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without eats is dead.”

When the Bible teaches the opposite. It teaches love, iron sharpen iron, encouragement, accountability, and salvation. It teaches us being imitators of the one who calls on the children himself. 

Philippians 2:1-11

Ephesians 5:1 “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love just as Christ loved us and give himself for us as a fragment offering and sacrifice to God.”

Luke 18:16 (Matthew 19:13-14, Mark 10:14)

“But Jesus called the children to him. 

‘Let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.’”

I plead with my generation to do better. To rise up and not let our hearts and our children’s hearts be cheated with the abundant life Christ offers us when we walk with him. 

When we actually follow, imitate christ and invite God to have meaningful joy in our lives. The church will grow and the pews will once again be full.

In the past I would’ve told my children they couldn’t partake in communion. But today I took it as an opportunity to tell them why we are getting juice cups and crackers. I’m learning in the chaos of life to teach my children the most important thing that they will need to turn to at the end of the day which is following Jesus.

“Talk to them. Let their curiosity be an opportunity to include them in something good.”

If I truly want my children to learn about the Lord and follow him I need to take the daily opportunities. 

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

Ephesians 5:1-2

When they willingly pick up their Bible and ask to read.

When they ask questions at bedtime. 

When they want to play Bible story app with me on my iPad. 

When they ask to sit in Church and do what the grown ups are doing.

When they want to do their own “devotional” while I do mine. I give them daily bread books to write in while I work on mine.

These are daily opportunities that I cannot let slip past me. Ephesians reminds us about the waging war inside world. This is a soul battle. This creates an urgency in my heart as I’m reminded of this.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Ephesians 6:12-13

I want to slow down and let their curiosity lead me to godly conversations with them. Even if it inconvenient to the worlds schedule. It’s powerful for them and could save their very souls.

This was one of the most memorable Mother’s Day. We celebrated on Friday. Peter dropped Jason off at school and brought Logan with giving me some time to sleep in. I was still in bed when Logan ran in with the huge balloon “Happy Mother’s Day mom”. I invited him in the bed to dive in the sun chips together and snuggle. Tears suddenly started streaming down my face. Fighting against negative thoughts and being swarmed with thankfulness all at once. 

I don’t take my boys for granted. It’s hard pushing myself past the lies I once was told ‘you don’t deserve to be a mom’. And yet God himself gifted me with my son’s. Then as I’ve navigated the early years of motherhood trying so hard to be the best mom I can be for my boys still never felt I was doing enough. It was my counselor who has helped me slowly build my confidence, push past the lies and even say out loud “ I am a good mom”. Others still question, but I’m done questioning. I can’t raise them in the shame and guilt I never deserved. The battle inside still wages but slowly one step at a time I know I am the best mom for the children God has given me.