It made me sad this morning while holding and rocking my son and singing that my children are the only young children in Church. Young families aren’t attending anymore. The heart of the body of a Christ has lost sight of the urgency of the gospel. 

We sat and sang in clothes we wear every day. Coming as ourselves. 

As I gently work on my boys hearts showing them that following God isn’t about rules, perfectionism, and shame I want them to see the honest beauty God has for them. 

The approach should have always been gentle. When it became a place of guilt, comparison and perfectionism, that’s when I believe the shift of the next generation stopped coming.

When the lifestyle of the generation who worshipped God on Sunday’s, but their actual lifestyle didn’t line up. That is when the next generation stopped coming. 

The Church has become lukewarm and have taken lightly of our Savior. If people are claiming a belief and become inconsistent with their lifestyle then that belief is less appealing for outsiders to seek and hold onto. Again, why the next generation have stopped coming.

The Church has become lukewarm and have taken lightly of our Savior.

James 2:26 “As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without eats is dead.”

When the Bible teaches the opposite. It teaches love, iron sharpen iron, encouragement, accountability, and salvation. It teaches us being imitators of the one who calls on the children himself. 

Philippians 2:1-11

Ephesians 5:1 “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love just as Christ loved us and give himself for us as a fragment offering and sacrifice to God.”

Luke 18:16 (Matthew 19:13-14, Mark 10:14)

“But Jesus called the children to him. 

‘Let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.’”

I plead with my generation to do better. To rise up and not let our hearts and our children’s hearts be cheated with the abundant life Christ offers us when we walk with him. 

When we actually follow, imitate christ and invite God to have meaningful joy in our lives. The church will grow and the pews will once again be full.

In the past I would’ve told my children they couldn’t partake in communion. But today I took it as an opportunity to tell them why we are getting juice cups and crackers. I’m learning in the chaos of life to teach my children the most important thing that they will need to turn to at the end of the day which is following Jesus.

“Talk to them. Let their curiosity be an opportunity to include them in something good.”

If I truly want my children to learn about the Lord and follow him I need to take the daily opportunities. 

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

Ephesians 5:1-2

When they willingly pick up their Bible and ask to read.

When they ask questions at bedtime. 

When they want to play Bible story app with me on my iPad. 

When they ask to sit in Church and do what the grown ups are doing.

When they want to do their own “devotional” while I do mine. I give them daily bread books to write in while I work on mine.

These are daily opportunities that I cannot let slip past me. Ephesians reminds us about the waging war inside world. This is a soul battle. This creates an urgency in my heart as I’m reminded of this.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Ephesians 6:12-13

I want to slow down and let their curiosity lead me to godly conversations with them. Even if it inconvenient to the worlds schedule. It’s powerful for them and could save their very souls.

This was one of the most memorable Mother’s Day. We celebrated on Friday. Peter dropped Jason off at school and brought Logan with giving me some time to sleep in. I was still in bed when Logan ran in with the huge balloon “Happy Mother’s Day mom”. I invited him in the bed to dive in the sun chips together and snuggle. Tears suddenly started streaming down my face. Fighting against negative thoughts and being swarmed with thankfulness all at once. 

I don’t take my boys for granted. It’s hard pushing myself past the lies I once was told ‘you don’t deserve to be a mom’. And yet God himself gifted me with my son’s. Then as I’ve navigated the early years of motherhood trying so hard to be the best mom I can be for my boys still never felt I was doing enough. It was my counselor who has helped me slowly build my confidence, push past the lies and even say out loud “ I am a good mom”. Others still question, but I’m done questioning. I can’t raise them in the shame and guilt I never deserved. The battle inside still wages but slowly one step at a time I know I am the best mom for the children God has given me. 

I  used to think it’s not a big deal if you see a dad holding his child. People would compliment Peter and say he’s a good dad for holding the boys. I would shake my head at these compliments. Overtime I’ve learned some children don’t even have memories of being held by their dad. Our culture has taught men to not be affectionate, because it’s a sign of weakness. Children don’t need a tough dad, they need a kind compassionate dad who gets down at their level wipes her tears, talk to them calmly when they are losing their own control. They need a dad who reads to them, can be silly with them, who doesn’t rule over them, but gently guides. They need a dad who holds them. 

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

At the end of the day it’s about being intentional with our children. Whether we work or stay at home with them. The value of a stay at home parent is no less or greater then the one who goes to work.

When  we step into the mindset of comparison we take away the value both sides deserve. The reality is, both work hard. There are easy days and hard days. Both equally important. One side is saving the other side making. The investment looks different but adding quality to your lives. 

The days don’t end until the kids are asleep. When the working parent comes home their day is not over. There are still chores to be done, relationships to connect with. This is the same reality with the stay at home parent. The stay at home parent does all the behind scenes keeping the house intact and cultivates the environment for the family.

For our family finding the balance of Peter not overworking and our family still being provided for is our goal. Finding breathing space where we are all connecting and having time to reset is really important for how we want our children raised. It starts with recognizing each others jobs as both important and then staying engaged throughout the day even on the days we are exhausted. Parenting is hard, and exhausting, and we only get to do is once as a team.

Holidays are meant for family traditions and not to be filled with chaos or obligations. 

I love holidays! Valentine’s Day, st. Patrick’s, Easter, Mother’s and Father’s Day, Independence Day, Birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas! 

As Peter and I became our own little family holidays were just in passing. Growing up my family went big for them and we got to see our cousins almost every month on my dad’s side. The house was decorated, we’d always get treats, have a feast, and even dress up for some of them! 

After we had Jason I was excited to give him those kind of memories too. We don’t go as big but I create them in ways I hope they remember. We decorate the house, special treats and activities are always involved, and they are simple. 

I’ve learned I’m not the kind of mom who wants to travel, go big, drag my kids to events, cook and bake big feasts. I want the holidays we celebrate with our children to be fun for all of us and not leaving Peter and me burnt out. This means protecting my peace too. I ask myself who, how, and when and what will be the most smooth way to celebrate and make the day special. For example for Easter because it lands on a Sunday we celebrate on a Saturday spreading out the activities and not feeling like it should all crammed and rushed after church. There aren’t any rules on how you celebrate holidays. Only the rules you set! Society may say different but society isn’t in charge of your wallet, your personal beliefs, your children or your peace, you are. We decide under no obligations. That in itself is freeing.

Build Don’t Break

I’ve been intentionally looking for things that bring me joy outside of motherhood. 

There was a time where I felt like I was losing myself and the interest things I loved.

My  life was take care of the babies, then crawl into bed at night, every night. In that time I wondered how long I was gonna be in that season. Because it’s different for every mom.

Now that we are getting up only 2 to 4 times a night and not five times or more I’ve been able to have the energy to pour back into myself.

I’m slowly moving in an imperfect direction of gaining those things back. 

I’m intentionally looking for the open time I do have. The open time is smaller due to my new season but it is still there. When Peter gives the kids a bath and after I’m done with night cleanup and daily chores are caught up on. I have about 20- 45 minute window to take that time to pour into myself. If chores fill up that time I still have after the kids go to bed. That is an hour of time I have intentionally chosen to pour into myself in a way that doesn’t reflect my roles as wife and mom. I’m blogging again, picking up my Bible, and strumming my guitar. It’s all in spurts but they bring me joy. 

I’m still me, just mom me. 

From the very beginning of the first tears of yearning for our child. 

To tears of joy when you first meet them.

When wiping their tears of sadness or hurt.

When wiping their noses from colds. 

When cleaning vomit from spit ups or sick days. 

When the potty training begins.

When their wounds need mending.

Their Puddle jumps of play. 

Summer cool off fun. 

The sweat from your day to day activities. 

The pouring of coffee or water refills. 

Absorbing all the spills with towels. 

The splash of water on the dishes.

The water from when we are cleaning our littles in playful bubble baths. 

Motherhood is wet.