A Letter To The Indifferent

Mihaela Echols30 Comments

Dear Picky Adopters,

    I don’t think you are aware of the things your are saying when you say things like: “There are enough children in the U.S.  who need homes. Other children do not need to be adopted.”

    Whenever I hear this I always remind people I am Romanian. They soon get uncomfortable and say “Well it is true.” Yes it is, but let me speak on the behalf of my fellow adoptees who are from international adoptions, because just like them, I am sick of hearing those comments. 

    A child cannot help where they were born. They are innocent beings who just want to be loved. Step out of yourself and imagine yourself with a different skin, hair, or eye color from what you have now. Should you be loved less or forgotten? Walk a mile in our shoes.

Children are children.

Hurt is hurt.

Pain is real.

    Why then do you say those things?

    Who are you to pick and choose the life of a hurting child? Saying things like “Oh boy another immigrant.” or “U.S children need homes too.” is like saying a hurting child doesn’t need a home.  Look into the eyes of the child in the picture. This child has feelings, a past, a future and a story just like you. I hope now after reading this you understand more as to why those words are so hurtful.

-The International Adoptee

P.S Forward this to those who do not understand what they are saying is unfair to an innocent child.

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/04/05/talk-about-adoption/

 

I’m Not In Charge

Mihaela Echols21 Comments

Would you ever change your past?

    No. Would I change that I was abused? No.Would I change that I was put up for adoption? No again. I am the person I am today because of these events. This is the story that God has allowed to be mine. We are not the only authors of our stories. God allows things that are out of our control to happen to us and I can not explain why. God cannot be fully explained. But because of these events I can sympathize with those with similar hurts and understand fears and challenges of being adopted. 

    Have you ever doubted Gods plan in your life?

    No. In fact I prefer His choice. God picked my family and only He can pick the perfect family for us. Why? Because He created us. Therefore, He knows us best. My parents could have adopted any child, but instead our paths were brought together. This is no coincidence considering my mom didn’t even know Romania was a country. Adoption itself is a miracle and only God can give us those. 

 

More reads here:

why I’m writing on adoption: Talk about adoption

My story

Birthparents

Think About It

Mihaela Echols13 Comments

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What do you think parents should consider before adopting?

Three things: 

  • It’s not a walk in the park
  • You never know what your going to get
  • It’s a life long journey

    It’s not a walk in the park in fact, it’s a walk through thorns. There is a reason why so many adopted children like myself come broken with shattered pasts. There is a reason why adoption exists. The past usually is ugly and so the child views everything in the world the same way, ugly.

    You never know what you are going to get. Some children may be adopted as infants and grow up to be your more challenging child verses the child you adopted at seven. In some cases parents may have an idea of how the child may be but in most cases it’s a risk. 

    Their ugly past will always be apart of them, but they do not have to carry it with them forever. Adoption is where life begins for some of them. You are now apart of their journey as soon as they are yours. You are their hero, even if they don’t see it in the beginning, they will in time. They might say things like “You aren’t my real mom or dad.” on this journey. They might try and hurt your other children if they are biological or themselves on this journey. They are scarred and bitter because they once saw the world as ugly, but you get the opportunity to show them the beauty of the world, and God. Just like a child you have given birth to adopting a child is another life long commitment because by adopting them you are making them yours.

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/04/05/talk-about-adoption/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/02/27/my-hearts-desire/

Daughter I’m Here Now

Mihaela Echols15 Comments

I wasn’t there to dry your tears

to hold you tight when you were afraid,

to give you food when you were hungry,

to help you get better when you were sick,

to laugh and sing with you,

to tuck you in bed at night,

to hold your hand,

I wasn’t there when I wish I could’ve been but I’m here now. I can’t make up for our lost time. But here and now I can give you what you needed then. A hug, words of encouragement, dry your tears, help you face your fears. I’m here to be apart of  the rest of your story.  I’m here… to dream with you, and help you reach goals higher then you could ever imagine. 

To help your heart soar.

To sing with you off key. 

To pray with you during the hard and confusing times. 

I’m here now later than I wanted to be, but daughter lets count the memories God gives. 

I wasn’t here then, but 

I’m here now. 

Your Forever, Mommy

More here: The Hardest Story To Tell: Mine

All or None

Mihaela Echols28 Comments

Session #5 (chapter 13)

Goal

How much effort are you putting into your purpose? 

What are the things that distract you from your purpose? 

    People? Work? Projects? I have learned my biggest distraction is myself. It is humbling to admit this especially on a blog. Personal detox with me readers and let’s say goodbye to  our distratons and keep our eyes on the prize.

     Think of your purpose then find a quote that will remind you of the importance of your purpose. Write it down. Make a collage. Save it as your screen saver. What ever you can come up with to help you remember your purpose. 

Here is my quote.

God is not a cafeteria line you cant just pick and choose the things you want from him.

-Dad

Continue activities by:

  • Watching for posts on My Readers page
  • Doing the exercises on your own time
  • Journal it!

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What drives session 1

Where Are You Going? session 2

What Are Your Strengths? session 3

Walking With A Purpose session 4

My Skittle Family

Mihaela Echols1 Comment

20150405_235007Due to the privacy of one of my siblings the name is unmentioned and picture is covered with a flower petal.

    What was your experience like growing up in a multicultural family?

Growing up I would be very annoyed when people would say things like “But your sister is Latino so she really isn’t your sister? Or “Well they aren’t your real siblings”

    According to the world’s standards if I do not  look like my siblings we aren’t related. If we all have different birthparents it is “impossible” to have a bond with eachother in ways birth flamilies do. Adoption world is different. I do not feel closer to my sister fom Romania verses my sister from America. They are all my siblings. It is like asking twins if it is weird to be a twin when their answer would be no why?  Because it is all they know. To me it would be weird to have a sibling that my parents didn’t adopt. I know it’s rude to stare and I wrote an article on it (It’s Rude To Stare) but there are times I would catch myself staring at my friends and their siblings or parents because they do look alike. It is normal for me to see a multicultural family. It is normal for me to hear everyone’s story before they came to be with their forever family.

    What is the biggest age difference between you and your siblings, and how does it effect your relationships?

    Being the oldest girl that already makes me one of the bossy ones. This has also given me the “second mom” standard in my house before I moved out. Because of this I have learned what it takes to run a house and it has opened my eyes to the reality of not wanting twelve children  as one could imagine. My youngest sibling is 6 and my older brother is 26.

    The ages are 6,7,10,14,15,18,18,20,20,23,24,26.

    Based on your experience growing up, what is one thing you plan to do differently When you become a parent?

    I would honestly say more encouragement. Adopted children are more fragile whether they want to admit it or not and need it. All of us have the sad story before we got to live (adoption) and for some the struggle is harder than others. Being encouraged on the little things like how well they listened, or how helpful they were with something on a day to day bases makes them want to seek attention in a positive manner and not feel the burden of being unwanted.

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2013/01/18/mom/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2012/12/29/show-and-tell/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/04/05/talk-about-adoption/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2013/01/18/the-beautiful-t/

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2013/07/08/courageous-child/

Talk About Adoption

Mihaela Echols28 Comments

happy-first-birthday

    At a young age I learned how to extend grace, because I was adopted. I was shot with rude comments, questions, and lectures on how to live my life by curious, innocent, and ignorant people. 

     I am starting this series for the ignorant and curious. No more ignorance! It is time to learn about adoption! I have started the Adoption series for those who honestly want to ask me questions on adoption with out stepping on toes. For those who are offended by my readers questions get off now. This is for them and I want to be open and honest with them as well. 

    So let me introduce myself. Hi name is Mihaela, I was adopted at the age of three. My story is found in The Hardest Story To Tell: Mine

    I have five sisters and six brothers; we are all adopted. Some of my siblings are from the foster care system and some from out of the Nation. Each of us are snowflakes, sharing one thing but all so very different. Behind all our eyes there is a broken story to tell, but by the grace of God we have had a beautiful ending, adoption. Or so some think. What most forget is the journey each adopted child takes. It does not end at the adoption day. In fact adoption day is like some of our birthdays. That day itself is the day some of us started living for the first time. 

Ok Readers ask me anything on adoption. This is for you. 

https://hylachamberlain.wordpress.com/2015/03/19/the-hardest-story-to-tell-mine-2/

 

Walking With A Purpose

Mihaela Echols19 Comments

Session #4

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  “Walk with a purpose.” Is what my mom would tell my sister when she would go to LaLa land after my mom would have her do something. Walk with a purpose. That sentence alone screams the purpose of every session. The people above know exactly why they got out of bed that morning, why they are walking step by step, and where they are going.

    Take a walk around the block sometime then come back to your journal. Write down the things that came to mind. This is your purpose. “What is purpose? The God in your life.” (Session #1) If it consumes your mind it controls you. Is your purpose included in your every day life? (Chapter 11 Purpose Driven Life) After walking would you say you like your purpose?

    I know it’s a lot to swallow but that is why we are doing these sessions.  What honestly is the most important to you?  Is it your purpose?

 My purpose is to glorify God in all that I do. Parts of my web (session #3) have it more evident than the other parts but I still have, and want God included in my every day life.

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Continue activities by:

  • Watching for posts on My Readers page
  • Doing the exercises on your own time
  • Journal it!

Session 1  What Drives You?

Session 2 Where Are You Going?

Session 3 What Are Your Strengths?

 

 

What Are Your Strengths?

Mihaela Echols34 Comments

20150309_153002

Session #3

Could your strengths be used toward your purpose?

    Here in chapter 7 toward the end talks about how our strengths can be used for our purpose. This one really made me think. Here is where another list comes in. Grab your journal this will only take a few minutes and you will be amazed at how far your strengths could go. I’m tired of lists so I am going to make a web diagram, but a list works just as well. On the top of your list or the center of your diagram write your purpose. Then branch out or start listing your strengths. For some reason this part was hard for me. I had to ask people. Then from there branch out or write next to your strength how it can benefit your purpose.

My diagram looks like this:

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Then my sloppy list:

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I learned a lot from doing this activity and didn’t even realize that they all tie in with each other as well.

Continue by:

  • watching for more posts on My Readers page
  •  Responding if you’d like to my open questions
  • Doing the exercises on your own time
  • Journal it!

What Drives You? session 1

Where Are You Going? session 2

 

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Where Are You Going?

Mihaela Echols25 Comments

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Session #2

Readers, after  going over session one What Drives You? I have a few other  hard questions for you from Rick Warren in the Purpose Driven Life: When you die where will you go?

Chapters four, five and six talk about how our decisions today effect eternal life. Each thing we do serves a kingdom, heaven or hell. That’s it. Our bodies will die but our spirit lives on forever.

Society focuses so much on living with all the beauty and health tips on how to stay young, because they are fighting death. In fact some peoples purpose is to live. Death is often a gloomy topic because of the out look on it. Ponder my questions death is real and we will all eventually go through with it. 

Where are you going?

What kingdom will you serve?

Often this links with our purpose.

Continue the activities by:

  • Watching for posts on My Readers page
  • Responding if you’d like to my open questions
  • Doing the exercises on your own time
  • Journal it!
  • What Drives You?