I have always been known for being loud. VERY LOUD 

When I talk

Sneeze

Laugh 

Hiccup

even when I walk. 

Most of the time I don’t even know I am walking heavy, or if my voice is projecting. But when I feel unheard that squeaky wheel screams from the inside.  When I was younger I was even louder. My voice would amplify and I would be full aware of it. Especially when I was angry. I would fight for attention in my home, school, church, EVERYWHERE. I couldn’t get enough of it. 

Some find it annoying. Some find it funny. Others say it’s just apart of me. And it is. It’s all of that. I learned at a young age to be the squeaky wheel meant to be a bit annoying at times to survive. 

That is until I started to understand that when I pray, God hears me.  

1 John 5:13-14

“I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”

I don’t have to survive anymore. 

I can live. No more begging for attention with my voice. 

I am always heard. 

My reason for wanting a mama bird shirt is because the memory behind this book is close to my heart. My mom read it to me when I was little. It was no secret that I was adopted.  My mom was always open with me about it and never sugar coated anything. But kept the conversations age appropriate.

I have a weird obsession with birds. I just think they are so cute! When she would read it to me I liked to look at the pictures of the birds. We would talk about the story and meaning but it didn’t really sink in until I was about ten. I saw the book one day and thought bird and adoption hmmm two very good things. But as I read it I began to cry. It turned out the cute birdies didn’t get to stay together. They had to say goodbye. The single mama bird couldn’t take care of the baby bird anymore and had to give him up for adoption.

“Our birth moms share something unique even with different circumstances. They lost someone that day too.”

Reasons vary between different birth moms, but there is something that hasn’t ached in me until adulthood. I was too busy disagreeing with my birth mom’s reason that I didn’t consider of her feelings. She was young, and hurting and may not know the Lord. 

Our birth moms share something unique even with different circumstances. They lost someone that day too.

On our adoption day if we do adopt I hope to be wearing my mama bird shirt. Because this book is close to my heart. 

Peter and I are going to be foster parents! Right now we are slowly dipping our feet in the water by starting with respite care for ages 18 months and younger. We are hoping to get our first placement in September 2017.  

For those who know me personally or have read my story you already know how  passionate I am about adoption. 

Peter and I have a very high respect for full time foster parents and have been waiting for the right time to start. We have talked about waiting until our first child bio/or adopted had been with us for a year. But after speaking with a friend who told us respite is a high need, my heart couldn’t take it. We prayed, talked and decided.  A week went by, we asked for her card, and began the process. 

“We prayed, talked, and decided.”

 Full time foster parents and those who adopt are hero’s. They are the front line of ending child abuse, and giving children hope. And we are the people are in the back ground saying “Keep on keeping on” that is why we are choosing to do respite care. This is something that has been heavy on my heart even before Peter and I got married.  

We are aware of the emtional hurts are going to come. The people who don’t understand. That some might even shame us for starting only two years into our marriage. But when God puts something this heavy on our hearts and has blessed us beyond belief how can we not? It might be confusing to the world but maybe because this love is not of the world.