Our journey began with hurt. 

Tears weld in my eyes when I think of the lives some children are born into. The children who don’t have a mommy and daddy who love each other. Who wake up and think to themselves ‘how did I even make it to today?‘ The children who don’t feel like their voice matters so they keep the hurt inside while their heart screams. This is why we believe in adoption and good foster homes. It gives a child a second chance at life. Their lives started with hurt but it doesn’t have to continue. 

Hurt is what stirred our hearts to rise up.

I do fear failed adoptions and having to send children back into abusive homes because that is the law. That is possible hurt Peter and I will endure. But the part that gives me overwhelming grief is that most children don’t get a second chance of life. But what grieves my heart even more is that the church of today sleeps on it. There are children getting abused,  placed in motels because there aren’t enough homes or are abused in the homes they are placed in. This happens during the Churches nap. I’m not saying every Church, I’m not saying every home should do foster care. But I am saying this find a way to care for the widows and orphans.  Satan thrives off of child abuse, but we serve a God who’s love is bigger. That love is in us to give. 

Video here

When we tell people we want to adopt someday and we are doing foster care I am usually not shocked at the ignorance of their comments. But this one caught me off guard. Being adopted and in an only adopted family I thought I have heard it all. But I have learned being on the other side as the adopter you get it too. According to these people children who are adopted or in foster care are seen as less because they aren’t growing in my tummy. They ask us…

 “Why don’t you want your own children?”

Adopters I’m sure you’re mind is spinning and blood is boiling with righteous anger with this question. As we begin our journey I am still learning how to tackle the question when it hits. Because as an adoptee I’m hearing your life doesn’t have value. I find this kind of thinking petty for us who do not get to pick the life we are born into.  

So how am I to respond in these situations? Firmly but with grace. I need to bring it back to God. So many have forgotten that when we choose Christ he is adopting us into his family. 

Ephesians 1:5 In love “he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.  

I can assure I am not in the line of David nor am I Jewish. When believers ask us the question why don’t we want our own children, they have forgotten what Christ has done  for them as well. Jew or Gentile he wants us not by his blood line but through adoption. 

Mama birds what is the most awkward you have been asked?

I have always been known for being loud. VERY LOUD 

When I talk

Sneeze

Laugh 

Hiccup

even when I walk. 

Most of the time I don’t even know I am walking heavy, or if my voice is projecting. But when I feel unheard that squeaky wheel screams from the inside.  When I was younger I was even louder. My voice would amplify and I would be full aware of it. Especially when I was angry. I would fight for attention in my home, school, church, EVERYWHERE. I couldn’t get enough of it. 

Some find it annoying. Some find it funny. Others say it’s just apart of me. And it is. It’s all of that. I learned at a young age to be the squeaky wheel meant to be a bit annoying at times to survive. 

That is until I started to understand that when I pray, God hears me.  

1 John 5:13-14

“I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”

I don’t have to survive anymore. 

I can live. No more begging for attention with my voice. 

I am always heard. 

My reason for wanting a mama bird shirt is because the memory behind this book is close to my heart. My mom read it to me when I was little. It was no secret that I was adopted.  My mom was always open with me about it and never sugar coated anything. But kept the conversations age appropriate.

I have a weird obsession with birds. I just think they are so cute! When she would read it to me I liked to look at the pictures of the birds. We would talk about the story and meaning but it didn’t really sink in until I was about ten. I saw the book one day and thought bird and adoption hmmm two very good things. But as I read it I began to cry. It turned out the cute birdies didn’t get to stay together. They had to say goodbye. The single mama bird couldn’t take care of the baby bird anymore and had to give him up for adoption.

“Our birth moms share something unique even with different circumstances. They lost someone that day too.”

Reasons vary between different birth moms, but there is something that hasn’t ached in me until adulthood. I was too busy disagreeing with my birth mom’s reason that I didn’t consider of her feelings. She was young, and hurting and may not know the Lord. 

Our birth moms share something unique even with different circumstances. They lost someone that day too.

On our adoption day if we do adopt I hope to be wearing my mama bird shirt. Because this book is close to my heart. 

Peter and I are going to be foster parents! Right now we are slowly dipping our feet in the water by starting with respite care for ages 18 months and younger. We are hoping to get our first placement in September 2017.  

For those who know me personally or have read my story you already know how  passionate I am about adoption. 

Peter and I have a very high respect for full time foster parents and have been waiting for the right time to start. We have talked about waiting until our first child bio/or adopted had been with us for a year. But after speaking with a friend who told us respite is a high need, my heart couldn’t take it. We prayed, talked and decided.  A week went by, we asked for her card, and began the process. 

“We prayed, talked, and decided.”

 Full time foster parents and those who adopt are hero’s. They are the front line of ending child abuse, and giving children hope. And we are the people are in the back ground saying “Keep on keeping on” that is why we are choosing to do respite care. This is something that has been heavy on my heart even before Peter and I got married.  

We are aware of the emtional hurts are going to come. The people who don’t understand. That some might even shame us for starting only two years into our marriage. But when God puts something this heavy on our hearts and has blessed us beyond belief how can we not? It might be confusing to the world but maybe because this love is not of the world.